Dear Alex,

This post is for you.

I know that a few weeks ago I put you through a lot of pain when I told you that I was scared, confused, and knew you were more in love with me than I was with you.

I've never wanted to cry at someone's face more than that night.

You are so very much in love with me and I had punched your heart.

Your face said everything you were feeling inside and I felt like the most awful person in the world.

I know what it's like to feel heart ache.

I know what it's like to be in the more loving end.

I know what it's like to feel completely out of control of a situation you wish you could so badly control.

Since I know what that is like I never wanted to be the source of that pain...and I was.

I'm sorry for that.

That being said, however, I have never been more proud of you.

You took everything I said with love and care and then had a decision to make.

You decided not to be selfish, but to be selfless.

And it has made all the difference in the world.

That night I told you I was scared that I would pick the wrong guy...again, and that is something I do not want to go through for a second time.

(once was definitely enough.)

That night I told you I was confused because some days I wanted to be with you and others...not so much.

That night I told you it was hard having you around all the time now since I was so used to being able to just do my own thing and text you with the 4 hour distance between us...now you're just 5 blocks away.

Let's face it, I told you a lot of things that night that I'm sure you would rather not remember since it hurt you so much.

I asked for space. I asked for patience. I asked for respect. I asked for time. I asked for prayers.

You could have just walked away that night and thought I was horrible for asking such things and not done anything about it.

But you didn't.

You did the complete opposite.

You gave me all the space I needed, you've been patient with me and given me time, and you have constantly been praying for my nerves to calm down.

You've been everything I could've dreamed of, but were not sure if you were capable of it.

But in this last month I feel like I've seen you in a different light.

You've been working hard and learning what it means to have a job.

You've been reading your scriptures, giving talks in church, and doing your home teaching.

You took care of me when I felt like death had come upon me and revived me back to health.

You've been patient and kind and ever so loving.

I know that no other girl ever crosses your mind because you're too busy staring at me. (both figuratively and literally. :)

I'm really proud of you and the growth you have shown over the last few weeks.

It has made all the difference.

I think you're just great and I love spending time with you.

Speaking of, where are you? I want you to be sitting next to me right now.

I really do love you with all my heart.

I had forgotten for awhile, but now it is back and it is stronger than ever.

Thank you for being you and for being what I need.

You're such a good guy. Everyone knows it. Everyone loves you: friends, roommates, co-workers, etc.

But most importantly for you...I love you too.

Braves Girl

Braves Fans invading San Francisco!

So...as we all know the Braves went to the playoffs.

Oh my gracious how excited was I?! SO exciting! We have not made it to the playoffs since 2005! And what's even better is that it is Bobby Cox's last year as the manager and what better way to go out than go to the postseason?

Well, when we found out they were going to be playing their first 2 games in San Francisco my friends and I started scheming on how we could go. We searched for awhile (well, more like my dear friends searched) and we finally found 5 tickets on Craigslist. They ended up being $85 a person...not too bad. So we headed to San Francisco! We left Thurs night at 11:30pm and got into San Fran area around 9:30am. We ate breakfast and power napped at Ashley's aunt's house and then headed to the city because we wanted to go see the Golden Gate Bridge before the game. Twas SO cool! I seriously loved the bridge!

Outside AT&T Park

It was also awesome walking around all decked out in Braves gear! The looks on people's faces and the comments were pretty funny. We got to the park about 2 and a half hours early. AT&T Park is way cool! It is right on the bay and the stadium is just cool. We got there a little bit before batting practice. Ashley and I yelled at one of our fav pitchers (Jair Jurrgens) and told him we loved him and he waved at us. We kinda freaked. Then Derek Lowe (one of our starting pitchers) heard us Braves fans freaking out when they came out for BP and so he showed us the love by doing the sign for "I Love You." We were stoked on life...again. Then Ash and I ventured down by the outfield to say hi to the pitchers out there catching the fly balls. Jonny Venters (a closer) threw us each a ball! And once again...loving life. And the game hadn't even started!

San Fran Trolley

Then the game started. And wow. Giants fans are T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E. The most classLESS fans I have ever seen! Middle fingers directed at us, F You's at us, and the most vulgar signs and desecration of the tomahawk chop. Thankfully we had the 5 of us and 2 other Atlanta fans found us, so we stuck together, but if you saw little 1-3 souls in Braves gear they got popcorn and beer thrown at them. People would Boo in our ears. (right ear is still ringing.) Just seriously I can't even describe how awful it was. Especially since we were losing for the first 7 innings. It was slightly miserable. Then all of the sudden our boys really stepped it up and started playing baseball. We tied it up and it went into extra innings! Our closing pitcher got hurt so they had to pull in a pitcher who has sucked all season and somehow he pulled it out so no runs were scored for the Giants. And in the 11th inning our center-fielder, Rick Ankiel, bombed one out of the park and into the bay! Booyah! It was the greatest moment ever! It was literally the best game I have ever been to! It was so exciting, nerve-wracking, intense, glorious, and purely amazing. I loved seeing my boys play and was so proud of be a Braves fan.

Right after we won!

Let's just say Giants fans were pretty much silent as the game ended. You could hear us from any where in the stadium, I'm sure. We were definitely not quiet. We were so excited! It's one of those epic games that everyone wishes they could have been at and well....we were. Definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity. We were still getting cursed out and harassed as we were leaving, but oh well. I know that at Turner Field they would have been treated differently because our mamas raised us right in the South. You don't treat people like that. Ever. We were all on a high for quite sometime after the game. We headed back to Provo right after and arrived back around 12:30pm on Sat afternoon. Call us crazy. Call us insane. But we like to call it hardcore and awesome! The best road trip of my life.

On a more somber note...the Braves lost both of the games at home. Mostly due to bad calls and our bench 2nd baseman's awful errors, since Martin Prado got hurt right before the playoffs. Yes, I'm so sad. I really wanted to go all the way. But at the same time we had so many bench players out there starting. We lost Chipper. We lost Prado. We lost Jurrgens. We lost Medlen. We lost a lot of those key players that make a huge difference on the field! So for us to still make it to the playoffs and then do as well as we did, I'm proud. We gave a good fight. Every game was only within 1 run.

Another somber note is that this was Bobby's last season. Bobby is the man. I've never known any other manager. I love seeing him waddle/jog on out to the pitcher's mound. I love seeing him sitting there giving calls. I love seeing him get all heated. He will defend his players to the death, which is why everyone wants to play for him. He loves his players more than anything and they are number one to him. He has more managerial ejections than any other manager in history! I am proud of that. That means he fought for his players. He actually got ejected at the game we were at. So we were able to witness his last ejection and his last win. I feel pretty dang lucky.

Unlike Giants fans, Bobby Cox has class. I respect him and I love him. Bye Bobby. You will be sorely missed!

I want the Rays to go all the way now. I hate the Yankees. I hate the Phillies. And I hate the Giants. GO RAYS!

And now I will leave you with this video I took during the summer while at Turner Field. Until next season Braves. I love you! Good season.

today...

...was one of the hardest days I've ever had.

I was at New Haven today from 8am-9:45pm. I was heartbroken I had to miss Conference!

But, I had to go on a little mini-retreat with some of the girls. We got back from that around 5 and came home to chaos in the house.

One of our girls is having a SUPER hard time the last week.

Her name starts with a "K" so that's what I'll call her.

K is barely 14, has Asbergers, and is very into self-harm. i.e. cutting.

She's always been quiet since I've started, but has her moments where she freaks out and has to get put in a hold.

Normally her bad spells last anywhere between a day-2 hours.

However, this bad spell is b.a.d. and she will not snap out of it.

It started on Tues morning. She's been put in who knows how many holds, at least 6 every day. She's threatened to kill herself so that puts her on suicide watch. She grabbed bleach from a girl when she was doing her laundry and tried to drink it...thankfully staff is so close by she didn't. Yesterday she grabbed a knife from the cook while she was prepping food and put it to her stomach...again a staff nearby. She's bit THREE staff members and today she broke the skin on all of them and they had to go get shots at the doctor's office. Like seriously...K has gone crazy. The scary part is, is that she laughs about it in a weird way. You ever seen Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight? Not quite as creepy...but close.

I've never seen her like this and it's the scariest thing. She is now stuck in a room with 2 staff members with everything stripped from the room.

If she doesn't get better in the next few days I bet she'll be relocated because New Haven does not accept violent girls and we do not have the resources to deal with this much of suicide behavior.

Yes, I'm worried about K cause I do care about her. I'm not super close with her, but I've still worked with her and we've had some talks and I do care for her well being and am sad she's acting the way she is.

BUT, the hardest part of my day was seeing the other 15 girls in the house.

They are all having a super hard time with it.

Some of them feel betrayed. Some of them feel hurt. Some of them feel neglected since staff is always having to worry about K. Some of them feel angry that K is physically hurting staff. Some of them feel unsafe.

When I was gone most of the day on the retreat K had a pretty bad freakout so when I came back the house was very down trodden. Multiple girls coming up to me and melting in my arms and saying they can't handle it. Most of these girls are so sensitive or trigger very easily to stressful situations. Our house is a community and this has totally disrupted the "family."

So I spent the night talking individually with some of the girls and letting them express their feelings. All of these girls are in the recovery process and it is so hard for them to focus on why they're here when things in the house are so crazy. I love these girls so much. I seriously feel like they're my little sisters. Do they drive me up the wall sometimes? Oooohh yes...but wow. I feel such immense love for them! They're my babies.

When my supervisor came up to me to see how I was doing I kinda broke down. This week has been so draining, especially today. I do not like seeing my girls hurting. Well, some of them hurt all the time as it is because that's what they're working on, but I hate to see them hurt more than what they need to be. I do love that the girls are so defensive of the staff and get upset the K is hurting us. So to help them we took them out to get ColdStone to let them get out of the house, dance in the car, have some fun, and try to stop thinking about everything for a bit.

I know this post is kinda depressing, but I just have so much energy pent up inside I had to write it out...

I hurt for K. I really do. I wish I understood what she was going through.

But mostly I hurt for the girls that are left with her aftermath. They have so much strength, they don't even know. That's where I come in. I help them realize that inner strength. I love my job! I really do.

Tomorrow my supervisor asked me to come in from 3-5 to help out with K watch. I'm going to wear long sleeves, long pants, and possibly some football pads...:)

New Haven? Yes, please!

Hello Peeps! Sorry I've been kinda out of the blog world for a few weeks. Life has been CRAZY! And that's an understatement! I've had so much going on with moving to a new house, working an average of 57 hrs a week, starting school, meeting with advisors, getting everything set for graduation, and so on! However, it has been awesome. Busy and I wanna pull my hair out sometimes, but nonetheless awesome! I have done some fun stuff because if not I would pull my hair out! And some of those fun things would include meeting and getting to know my amazing new roommates, seeing John Mayer live [words cannot express], and having the boy move to Provo! Happy days. However, the point of this blog is to talk about my internship. For my major we have to do a senior capstone and I chose to do an academic internship for the semester.

The place is called New Haven. They have hired me for as long as I can work there. Even though I am getting credit for it, I am an employee and get treated as such. New Haven is a treatment center for at-risk teenage girls. It is located in Spanish Fork and it is such a great place! Crazy sometimes? Yes. BUT...it's such an awesome job. New Haven has 3 houses on the campus with about 16 girls per house. I work in the Teresa House so I work with the same girls all the time. All of the houses are named after strong, influential women. (Mother Teresa, Sacajawea, & Eleanor Roosevelt) I work on Tues, Thurs, & Sat from 3-11pm. While on shift you are responsible for the emotional, physical, and mental well-being of the girls. The supervisor will put you over a certain level. You're there with all of the girls, but you're only really responsible for making sure you know where your level girls are. (There are 5 levels and our house has a variety of levels right now.) Since I'm there in the afternoon and evening, I get there when they're done with school and such so we have fun rec activities, service, recreational therapy with the therapist, values activities, pizza & a movie, work out hour, homework hour, etc. Whatever needs to be done that night. I have a lot of fun with the girls (well, most of them) and it sometimes doesn't even feel like a job...more just hanging out with teenagers.

Now, you may be asking how these girls get themselves in there? Most of what these girls have issues with all stems from depression, anxiety, or no self worth and they've pretty much all had a traumatic experience. Those things manifest itself in a variety of ways: eating disorders (over and under eating), self harm (cutting), drug and alcohol abuse, manipulating relationships, OCD, etc. Some of the girls wanted to come, some of them did not, some of them made a deal with their parents, and so on. We have girls that are happy and girls that are angry or sad. They are fighting a battle within their minds constantly every day. I can understand only so much. I can know what they are going through, but I will never know what it's like to have their lives, which I am grateful. It is so rough for them sometimes. Some of the girls will still blow up at times, which is not fun! We had to put a girl in a hold the other day because she was gettin a little crazy. That was not fun. I wanted to cry, she was screaming so loud. But most of the time it's not quite that crazy. Most of the time things are pretty chill. I do get cursed off by one girl every time, at least once, but she's like that with everyone so I don't feel so bad.

New Haven is seriously such an amazing program! Everything about the treatment is so perfectly planned. Usually girls have been to 2-3 treatment centers previous to coming and when they leave, New Haven has an amazing rate of girls not having to go to another treatment center. New Haven is very family oriented and will not take a girl unless the family is willing to move along in the program with her daughter. They have to agree to family therapy through conference calls or skype and have to make the changes necessary at home. I can't even explain everything about the program because I'm still learning stuff and I've been there for 3 weeks. But here is their website. Go...it's awesome.

In short...I LOVE my internship/job! Those girls have already stolen my heart. Some are easier to love than others, but I love them all and know that they all deserve to live life the way it was meant to be lived...in happiness. I can't tell you how much my eyes well up when they get so excited I'm there or when they give me hugs or when they just want to cuddle and have me stroke their hair or when I'm saying goodnight and they tell me they love me. No greater feeling. I'm doing something of worth and it fills me with joy.

New Haven or bust!! :)

she glows.

So...I have this boyfriend.

And this boyfriend and I have a private online journal since we live so far apart.

We can share pictures, videos, funny things, whatever...with each other.

It helps us feel closer than the 4 hours that separate us physically.

I made it for us for Valentine's Day and for the last 6 months has proven to be quite the fun thing.

(no, you may not know the site. :)

Alex left the cutest post the other day.

But it also got me thinking about a lot of things.

For about 30 seconds I had a ton of thoughts swimming through my brain that came after reading his latest post.

It basically was about glowing when you're happy.

He watched the movie "Stardust," which is about a poor shopkeeper that is a prince, but he doesn't know he's a prince. He falls in love with a girl and to prove his love to her he says he will catch the shooting star they just saw fall through the sky. The shooting star happens to be this amazing girl and long story short...the two of them end up falling in love.

The part Alex liked was that whenever the star and the prince were together (walking together, talk together, dance together, etc.) the star gives away her true emotion...happiness. And since she's a star, she glows when she's at her happiest.

Then Alex said, "How cool would it be if girls really did glow when they were around the boy they liked?" Haha...I'm sure cool for the boy, not so cool for the girl.

Then he tied the movie into the gospel:

"So the boy, who really is a prince, becomes a king. But a king can't live forever...unless he has the heart of a star. Well, since she falls in love with him, she gives her whole heart to him, and they live together happily ever after...forever."

I love that. I love when we can find doctrine within the world.

It is another testimony of just how true the gospel is.

As I was thinking about that, I was thinking about the times in my life when people say that i'm "glowing." Obviously I'm not literally illuminating, but people for sure give off a "glow."

Those times would include: right after I get home from things such as EFY, Youth Conference, & Girl's Camp. When I fall in love. When I get a good grade. When I am home on the island.

And most importantly...those times when I am reassured of my Savior's love for me.

I bet He glows. I bet He glows when we recognize His love and reciprocate that love.

We all have the Light of Christ within us and that Light shines when we are at our happiest.

I hope I can glow all the time and not get so bogged down with everything I have going on.

I love my boyfriend.

I love that he posted that.

I'm grateful for him wanting us to glow because we're in love.

And I'm grateful for his insights.

They gave me lots to think about.

And now I shall close with my bestie, Leah's, quote.

"I wish I were a glow worm, a glow worm's never glum. For how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?"

Shine On!

eternal love.

Let's rewind. Say, 5 years.

September something, 2005.
I was a Freshman at BYU and my Freshman ward had their opening social.
I was in a wheelchair due to an unfortunate event which resulted in me tumbling down a mountain and breaking my foot. [Don't go hiking at night in flip flops. Been there, done that...not a good idea.]
Anyways, much to my dismay I had to meet my Freshman ward in a boot and wheelchair/crutches...whichever I was feeling. Don't you worry...my friends and I made MUCH use of those toys.Anyways...back to the social. That was the first time I met the majority of my ward (that I grew to love with all my heart) and my Bishopric.
Bishop Hatch.
Brother Mott.
Brother Shepherd.
What incredible men!
Brittany and I instantly connected with Brother Shepherd, but I still remember Bishop Hatch coming up to me and shaking my hand and asking about my foot.
From there on I had the best Freshman year.
Our ward was awesome! We had THE best activities every month and everyone became so tight. Some of my most fond memories from my time here at BYU were during that year.

I saw Bishop Hatch from time to time after Freshman year ended.
He and his wife, AnneMarie, would come into Magleby's every so often, so we would chat.
Or I would see him walking across campus. (He was a Professor in the English Department.)
I always loved seeing him and his wife together though.
They had so much love for each other.
Every testimony meeting when he was my Bishop, he always said how he was grateful for AnneMarie and that he loved her.

It had been awhile since the last time I'd seen Bishop Hatch, but in the beginning of May, I picked up the BYU newspaper and read something I did not expect.
Bishop had passed away unexpectedly on May 1, 2010.
I did not believe it at first.
I thought, "There must be another Gary Hatch."
But as I kept on reading, it was him.
I started crying right there in the middle of the Wilk.
How could this happen?
What about his family?
I didn't know what to think anymore.

Shortly after that I was at the new Magleby's in Lindon when the wives of my Freshman Bishopric walked in, including AnneMarie Hatch.
I got super nervous.
I knew who they were, but I did not expect them to know me...it had been over 4 years since the last time I'd seen all of them.
As they came up to order I was thinking, "Do I say hi? Do I say who I am? Do I ask if she's alright?"
As they all ordered I just acted normal, but once the last one went through I told her who I was and that I didn't know what to say earlier because of the passing of Bishop Hatch.
She got SO excited and was SO glad I had said something.
She said that today was Bishop's wedding anniversary, so that's why they were with AnneMarie.
I about crumbled up in a ball of tears right there.
She said I HAD to go say hi to AnneMarie.
So towards the end of their meal I went up to their table and said hi.
She was so sweet and gracious.
She was grateful to hear that her husband had made a difference in my life.
As I walked back behind the counter I just started thinking about what a mess I would be if such a thing happened in my life.
How do you get up in the morning?
How do you keep on living?
How do you get through the day?

Just tonight, 2 months later, AnneMarie came back into work. This time with her circle of friends from THEIR Freshman year at BYU. SO FUN! They were all so funny and you could tell were so happy to be around each other.
AnneMarie was very sweet, said hi, and remembered my name. She looked better than last time I saw her. She still had her wedding ring on. (I would've too if I were her.)
They sat at the big, round table and were there for three hours!
They were having a grand time!
I hope someday I can do that same thing with my dear friends from college.
AnneMarie came up and asked if I would take a picture of them, which of course I did.
They left shortly after that, but not without another smile from her as she looked back to say thank you.
Gosh...I was such a sap.
My eyes welled up with tears as soon as they walked out the doors.
How does she do it?
How is she still able to get up, do her hair, put on makeup, get dressed, and get out there every day?
But then for the rest of my shift tonight I thought about how she does it.
Knowledge.
That's how she does it.
She knows that Bishop is on the other side waiting for her.
She knows that they are still married.
She knows that they will live together forever.
She believes in her temple covenants.
She believes in the concept of eternal love.
She loves him more today than she did yesterday, and he does too.

I was so grateful for the time I had to reflect on the temple and eternal marriage.
I am seriously SO grateful for the gospel and the peace it brings to our lives.
I am grateful for endless love and I am so excited to have that as my own one day.
I am grateful for parents who have an eternal marriage, who keep their temple covenants, and raised us girls to know they love each other no matter what...for eternity.
Bishop Hatch, Thank you.
Thank you for being an example in my life and in the lives of all you touched while being a Bishop of the BYU 14th Ward.
Your wife is alright. She's as beautiful as always.
We all miss you and love you.

Happy Birthday, Daddio!

Well...being on vacation kinda makes blogging go to the back burner.
While I was in South Carolina for 2 weeks, my daddy had his birthday!
And he is most certainly deserving of a post!
So here goes!

My daddy is one who never was big in to celebrating his own birthday. Whenever we ask him what he wants, he can rarely tell us something so it usually results in the popular Zebra Cakes & Cap'n Crunch. I had the brilliant idea of getting him the Andy Griffith seasons...I figured it would last me awhile. I'm all out now. Time to figure out something new for this daddio of mine.

My father is an amazing musician. He always amazes me with how much he knows and how talented he is. Ok check this...he has composed trios for oboe, flute, & clarinet, piano solos, and piano accompaniments and he can't even play them. Who does that? Who can just hear the part in their head and write it down. My daddy, that's who. He has written some pretty cool stuff and I've only heard a few of them. I'm glad I got some of my parent's musical genes.I really love my daddy's lap. It has always been a safe place. I still climb up in the chair with him...and I'm 23. He always goes, "What do you want?" and groans...but I know he likes it. What dad doesn't want their little girls still wanting to cuddle with them? I know my daughters will love it just as much as I do.I've always loved my daddy's sense of humor. He can make us laugh whether it's from his jokes, dancing in the living room, or the same one-liners he has in his repetoire. I won't lie, his dance moves are pretty sweet. I'm almost positive that's how he got my mother to marry him. haha. If you've seen Bill Cosby dance, that's just about how Mark Maurer cuts the rug. Dance parties in our house are always pretty funny.I've always known that our family is his first priority. He has worked so hard since he got married to make sure my mama and his girls were taken care of. We had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. I learned the value of hard work from him and that attribute has certainly paid off as I've gone out on my own. Lastly, I just love how my daddy gets more tender with every year. He's always been a loving father, but I love that he becomes more of a softy with every birthday. You can tell the difference it makes with my mom, with his church responsibilities, and with his children. It's always a great day when a card pops in the mail from him that just let me know he's thinking about me. Happy Birthday, Mr. Daddy. You certainly are my hero. I hope I have been able to enrich your life, as you have mine. Thank you for always being able to provide for our family. Thank you for being the Priesthood leader in our home. Thank you for loving mama. And thank you for loving us girls. If you can't tell, I adore you and think you're pretty great. I wish you many happy birthdays to come. I love you, Papa Bear!

I'm already missing you, Escobar.

So as we all know, I have a slight obsession with the Braves.

As with any team we have our favorites.
Chipper Jones, Brian McCann, Jason Heyward, & Jair Jurrgens are among my current favs.
However, Yunel Escobar (who is beautiful) got traded to the Blue Jays.
Ash told me while I was at work.
My mood greatly shifted.
How could this happen?
Well, he was in a slump. Which is a pity.
They all go through slumps, but his slump costed him leaving.
I will definitely miss this little Cuban of mine when I go to Turner Field next.

the EFY life.

(my EFY besties. Thank Nina for us holding hands.)

the EFY life is the greatest type of life.

It seriously is.(this is how much we love EFY!)


No, but honestly. I am the happiest at EFY. I seem to always use EFY time as my checkpoint for my life. Every year is always so different. 07 was exciting and new, carefree. 08 I was engaged. 09 I was just getting over the breakup. And now 10 just all around made me a better person, or at least that's how I feel. I am so grateful for the experiences I got to have and for the opportunities presented before me for growth and renewal. Those 3 weeks zoomed by, but those 3 weeks were jam packed with events, tears, laughter, feelings of the spirit, learning, friendships strengthened, friendships gained, and commitments made. As much as I wish I could explain all of EFY to y'all, it's just impossible. There is nothing that could do justice to it. You just have to be there. However, here are some of the highlights that stick out to me as I look back on these last 3 weeks.
(Ammon and I on the first check-in day of the summer! Let the festivities begin!)
1. Having Ammon as a co-coordinator. Ammon is a rock. He is consistent in everything he does. I couldn't have asked to learn from someone better. He has more wisdom to share than your average person. It is common to see Ammon in the hallway reading his scriptures or the Ensign in his free time. (what little we have.) Being in this coordinator position is the closest thing I think I will experince to being in a marriage relationship. You are together all the time. Seriously, if Ammon was out of my presence for like an hour I would start to feel anxious. Pathetic? Haha, perhaps. You make decisions together. No matter if the decision is big or small, you have to talk and be on the same wave length. We are equal. Not one of us was better than the other. He would always ask my opinion on things, whereas some guys would have totally pulled the Priesthood card or the more experience card. But Ammon never did. You pray together. Not one night went by when we didn't pray together for the session, for our counselors, for our team, and for us as a partnership. I am so grateful for everything I learned from Ammon and I only hope he at least learned a tiny bit from me in exchange.
2. Seeing my favorite youth. I seem to be tighter with boys in GA and girls in FL. Not sure how that happened, but that's how it goes. They face so much every day of their lives. And most of them face it with the spirit and keep on chugging along. They're amazing. I look up to them and everything they do. I definitely did miss being a counselor when I would hang out with the youth.(some lovely ladies I know.)
3. Friendships. I have the greatest friends in the world. They are amazing counselors. They had amazing lessons and whenever I would get the chance to hear their testimonies, it brought life to my soul. Once the kiddies are gone there are many silly times and laughter. I love y'all!
(Sloppy Joe Day / Variety Show pre-party.)

4. Ashley Kay Sant. Ash is the best friend. She was always there to lend her support, words of kindness, and humor. It was great having her as a BC so I could see her a bunch! She did an incredible job as a BC and the team was better just because she was a part of it. Can't wait to live with you, Smash! LOVE YOU!(Pizza Nights with Brad!)

(The team at Jordan's.)

5. My Team. Wow. What a powerhouse group of people! Our team was the best mesh of people and I was so happy with how we all worked together! So many counselors came up to me and said how much they enjoyed the team this year, even people who have been around A LOT of teams. I felt truly blessed to have every single one of them. I miss them all dearly. They became my family. At some point each one of them lifted me up and gave me something to smile about. Can't wait until we are all reunited! Love y'all!(Soda Pop war for Ash's and my 5 year friend-iversary!)(Ammon, Ash, & I having some down time.)
(Ash & Me with our Benny Boy!)

Lastly, I am grateful for the spirit I felt every single day. The spirit brought me comfort, truth, and realization. I am so blessed to be a part of the EFY program. It is the greatest job in the world! Including my years as a participant and worker, this was my 10th summer at EFY! I have EFY to thank for a lot of my testimony, strength, & relationships. However, without the gospel it could not be possible. I have a renewed appreciation for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the peace, hope, and happiness it can bring to anyone who decides to accept it.

Dear EFY,
I miss you greatly.
Thank you for the best times of my year, once again.
Love, Kaycie (your biggest fan)

still alive...and currently being a Georgia peach.

Hello Friends & Family, I promise I'm still breathing and alive! I am seriously so busy! As soon as I landed on the East Coast it has been go go go. Which I love, so I'm very happy. I know this statement might come as a shocker, but...

I LOVE THE SOUTH!

Seriously. It is the greatest place in the entire world. Sure France, New Zealand, Italy, and Brazil might seem appealing and are amazing, but I would take being a Southern Belle over those places any day, hands down. As soon as I landed and walked off the plane it felt like home. The humidity was almost smothering...yet awesome! The temperature was high...yet refreshing. No mountains in sight...only trees greener than the Ireland hills. Just while walking to baggage claim I saw more "A" hats than ever, had an older man let me go in front of him to the escalator, and heard a little girl with the most dreamy southern accent. Yes Maam's and No Sir's were no longer an uncommon thing, but everyday language. Big hats and sun dresses are every day attire and Iced Tea is drunk more than water. It's a magical place, this South. And I love it.

Ashley & I had a fun couple days before we headed to Gainesville for EFY preparation. Some activities included a bonfire, tubing on Lake Lanier, SYTYCD Tivo, & watermelon eating. Then the EFY craziness began. It was full of stress. Wow...this coordinator business is a way bigger beast than I think I thought. But that's ok. Thankfully my co, Ammon, is awesome and has done this before. He's super encouraging and we actually make quite a team. The counselors are saying our partnership has got it together. They can tell we're unified and support each other and think of the youth before anything. But that's why we're here...to serve the youth. They are the absolute MOST important thing here. I get so giddy being around them. I feel like so many of them are my children. I've been through so much with them and have helped them with their struggles and questions. Even though I'm no one's counselor I still get to share my testimony and be an example as best as I can. I can't think of a more satisfying feeling than a participant yelling my name and running towards me. I know it's like super cheesy, but it's true. My heart is warmed and I have a feeling I know at least a fraction of how a mother feels towards her children.

There's so much to write about being a coordinator...most of which would most likely be a bore. A LOT of paperwork, A LOT of fixing housing issues, A LOT of dealing with problem youth, A LOT of dealing with the parents [who are worse than the problem youth] and A LOT of logisitical things. However, there has also been A LOT of laughing, A LOT of crying, A LOT of scripture reading, A LOT of unity, and A LOT of prayer. I've already learned more about myself in the last 3 days and I can't wait to just keep growing and growing these next 3 weeeks. EFY is the best thing. I'm so grateful for this program and the aim of this program. If you can't tell....I love EFY. End of story.

Much Love!