Tuesday, March 16, 2010

L...is for the way you look at me...

I'm in love.
I don't care anymore.
I will shout it for the whole world to hear.
I love a boy.
His name is Alex Foster and I think he is pretty darn great.
I've been in love with him since the beginning of February, but didn't quite know how to handle it.
I didn't wanna tell a lot of people because I just didn't know how to put all my feelings in order.
I think I was embarrassed because I should know.
I've been in love before.
I know what it feels like.
But this is SO much different than Dan.
We have THE most important thing in common, which is a love for the gospel.
Something I never fully shared with Dan.
Yeah you can have the same love for a sport or team. Yeah you can have the same taste in music. Yeah you can enjoy the same types of food or TV shows. And yeah...you can even think that person is most attractive person in the entire world.
However...none of that compares to being able to connect on a spiritual level.
Sharing the gospel is a way to tie all of that "superficial" stuff together and then add in the real stuff.
Like...how we feel about being children of God. Or the kind of family we want. Or how no matter how much we love each other, our love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will still outweigh it.
That's the real stuff.
Alex could tell me he hates the Braves, hates dancing, hates Hilton Head Island, and hates BYU. And even though that would totally suck [so please don't say that, Alex dear.] it still wouldn't matter because he tells me when he goes to the temple. He tells me when he's going to church. He tells me when he had a good Book of Mormon class. He has the Priesthood. He went on a mission. He knows what's most important in life.
And all of that means far more.

On a more romantic note...
He's sweet.
He's so dang sweet.
He will do pretty much anything I ask of him.
I feel like I already take advantage of that.
But at the same time I don't feel bad when he does stuff for me because I know he wants to do it. Not out of obligation or that's "just what you're supposed to do" but I know he does because he loves me and likes doing things for me.
Like how he'll go out to the car in freezing temperature cause I left something out there, but he knows I'll get cold.
Or how even though my hands get seriously so cold he'll still let me put them on his neck to get them warm.
Or how he'll hold my totally girly purse in a public place when I need to do something.
Or how he opens doors for me.
Or how he will drive down for not even 24 hours to surprise visit me.
Or how he'll always offer his hand or arm when we're walking places...no matter if it's 5 steps or a 20 min walk.
Or how he'll always tell me I'm beautiful...even after a long day.
Or how he'll compliment my outfits because he knows how much fashion means to me and that I put thought into an outfit.
Or how I'll catch him looking at me...just because. He just likes to look at me. [in a non creepy way. haha.]
Or how I just know in his eyes that he thinks I'm the most amazing, most talented, most beautiful, most caring girl in the whole world.

But really, let's face it...he saved me.
Whether people knew it or not, I was hurt for a long time.
What Dan did to me killed me to the bone.
I think it killed me so much because I am so loyal.
I'm as loyal as a freakin dog.
Once you're friends with me, it is dang hard for me to not love and care about you anymore.
And I just couldn't believe that Dan did what he did.
You don't do that to people you "love."
I was in total despair for a long time.
I thought I would never be able to love again.
Even when I had convinced myself I was ok...I wasn't.
I was not ok.
I was still crying myself to sleep a year after the fact...and some.
But amidst all that struggle, Alex brought a new light to my life.
And no matter how hard I tried to deny it, shy away from it, and flat out push it away...there was a power higher than me that knew I needed him whether I wanted to accept the idea at first or not.
And I'm so grateful I was pushed.
Heavenly Father knew I needed Alex and that he needed me too.
I'm so grateful that the Father has a plan for me and that no amount of stress, worry, and pain will get in the way of ultimate happiness.
Alex has made that happiness come back in to my life.
Sure I had my amazing family and incredible friends, who I thank more than anything because without them I wouldn't have gotten through! [you know who you are.]
But there was still something missing.
Which is obvious.
We're sent here to learn and grow and be happy.
But we're not supposed to do it alone...we need a companion.
So Alex has become that.
He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes my faith stronger. He makes me realize how great life is.

So there ya have it people.
Y'all wanted to know what's going on...and this is it.
I'm in love.
I feel like Buddy the Elf when he falls in love with Jovie and then he yells: "I'm in LOVE, I'm in LOVE and I don't care who knows it!"

So Mr. Alex Foster...I know you're going to read this.
This is for you...I think you're great and I love you.


whitney said...

i LOVE that you're happy. i hate that we never work together and therefore i never talk to you. we need to change this. i need to know more about your life, and by other means than just your blog.

Anonymous said...

CUTE!! Oh my gosh Kayc I'm so happy for you! I don't know this boy but I like him 189473247 times better than stinky Dan (when we thought he was good)! Next time he's here, can we go on a double date? :)

Kevin & Ashley said...

Kaycie girl! Aww that was the cutest thing ever! I am so happy for you! You two are very cute together! And he sounds perfectttt. When can I meet him? I am so glad you got a boy you looooveee...any special plans coming up? (sorry if he reads this and makes it awkward but hey it's a legit question! LOL)

Lori said...

I'm glad you finally let yourself love again and that you're so happy. You go right ahead and SHOUT!

Alison said...

oh-kay. so i started crying when i read that. haha. i'm a sap. i'm so happy for you kaycie!! he sounds like a total keeper!