Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Getting back on track.

As any mother knows, having a baby throws your entire life in a huge loopdy loop.
The life that you used to know ceases to exist.
As awful as that sounds, it does get better!
I think the best advice I got was from my sister, Karly.
She told me that it was OK to mourn my old life.
It was OK to miss it.
It was OK to have a hard transition.
So I did that.
I took some time to mourn pre-Kameron life.
And I'm so glad I did...my pre-Kameron life was great!
I really did have an awesome life.
BUT...my life is even better now!
First of all, I have the cutest child that I'm kind of obsessed with.
Second of all, I get to watch a tiny human (who I grew, by the way) discover everything about this world.
I mean, I watched him become enthralled with a Cheez-It box earlier today.  That alone kept him entertained for about 15 minutes.
I get to see him become excited every time he sees me.
I get to see his toothless grin.
I get to watch my husband transform into a father.
I get to be a part of this divine creation process.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

That being said...I have learned in my 3 months of being a mother that Kameron cannot be my ENTIRE world.
There are other things that make me ME.
And though I love taking care of him, I cannot lose the things that also make me happy.
So I have made a goal to every day do something for myself:

and one thing for my home/family.

Spiritually: watch a General Conference talk, listen to church music, read the scriptures, watch some Mormon messages, etc.
Mentally: read a book for recreation, scrapbook, paint my nails, go to work etc.
Physically: go on a walk, play Just Dance, go to the gym, stretch, etc.
Relationally: spending better quality time with Alex once Kam is in bed.
Home/Family: do the laundry, do the dishes, vacuum, etc.

If I can just do at least ONE of those things in each category every day, I will be in good shape.
I have made these goals so that I am more productive during Kam's nap time and also so when he is awake I will not have any feelings of bitterness for not getting things done.
Wish me luck!
Figuring out how to be a mommy and Kaycie is a tricky mix. :)