Known.

Alex and I got back from my Granddad's funeral about a week ago.

It was both incredibly awesome and really hard.

It was surreal walking in to my grandparent's home and not hearing my Granddad's big, booming, familiar voice resonating within the family room walls.

It was really great hearing the nice things people would say about Granddad: favorite memories, funny stories, things he was known for, etc.

Not that I was trying to be morbid or anything, but it got me thinking about what people would say about me at my funeral.

What would I, Kaycie Foster, be known for?

Would people cry?  Laugh?  Mourn?

Would I be someone that they would only have good things to say?

I'd like to think that people would be like that.

So then I tried to think about what I want to be remembered by.

*someone who lived the gospel.

*someone who was dedicated to being a quality wife and mother.

*someone who loved her family.

*someone who was passionate about life.

*someone who was fiercely loyal.

*someone who helped others.

*someone who was a true friend.

*someone who never forgot others.

*someone who loved singing and dancing.

*someone who was positive.

*someone who made others feel worth something.

*someone who did not judge others.

*someone who brought humor and light.

*someone who did not have enemies.

*someone who had class.

*someone others can go to for support.

*someone who followed the Spirit.

*someone who was hardworking.

*someone who had integrity and virtue.

*someone who valued her body and took care of it.

*someone who was a true disciple of Christ.

Yes...those are the things I want to be remembered for.

Those are the things I want people to think of when they hear my name.

I am currently striving to live this way.

It definitely is not always easy.  Some days, I feel like the only person who notices me is my sweet husband.  And though I love him very very much, it's tough to get down on yourself and feel like you're not contributing at all to the world around you.

So even if it's small, I hope that every day I can do something to make the world a better place. 

Here's to having a long life to continue working on this attributes...

The best.

I have the best husband.

You can argue if you feel necessary.

But know I will not change my opinion.

Alexander Michael Foster is the best.

Case in point:

On the rare occasion Alex has to get up before I do, he turns off his alarm and heads out to the living room.

I slowly start to drift off to slumberland again to the faint noises of SportsCenter and the shower.

When he comes in the room to get changed, he fixes the pillow and covers around me to make sure I'm most comfortable.

When he's ready to go, he kisses my cheek to quietly wake me.

I reach up and pull him close to my neck and tell him not to go.

Our conversation almost always goes like this:

A: I have to go, babe.

K: Nooo....

A: But I have to.

K: Nooo...

A: Why don't you want me to go?

K: Because you're my husband and I want to be with you.

A: But I have to go to (insert word here like "school" or "work).

K: Ohhh, ok.

A: I'll be back later.  I'll miss you.

K: I'll miss you too.

Then there's a varying amounts of kisses and "I love you's" depending on how quickly he needs to be out the door.

Then I hear him grab his keys, open the door, and close the door.

I usually drift back off to sleep for a little while longer.

However, this morning my phone made the noise it does when I receive a text message, not even 30 seconds after I heard our door close.

The screen lit up and said "Husband" on it.

I smiled and opened on up that text.

Sweet and simple it said: "I love you."

And that, my dear friends, is why I have the best husband.

EFY Void.

So it's that time of year.

Well...it's normally that time of year.

You know...that time of year where I'm doing online trainings, meeting with my Area Administrator and Session Directors, emailing like crazy, and getting myself SO pumped for the best part of my summer year.

Have you guessed it yet?

Here I'll give you a clue.

It's a little acronym that goes like this...

EFY!!!

I'm just itching to get in those bright colored polos and pin on my name tag.

It's so weird thinking I won't be a part of EFY this year!  EFY has been a part of my summer for basically half of my life.

1999; age 12.  Participant in Atlanta, GA.  "A Season for Courage"

2000; age 13.  Stopped letting 12-13 yr olds go.

2001; age 14.  Participant in Atlanta, GA. "Remember the Promise"

2002; age 15.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "We Believe"

2003; age 16.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "Look & Live"

2004; age 17.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "Stand in the Light"

2005; age 18.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "A More Excellent Way"

2006; age 19.  Too young to be a counselor.

2007; age 20.  Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (4 weeks).  "Power in Purity"

2008; age 21.  Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (4 weeks).  "Steady & Sure"

2009; age 22.  Building Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (3 weeks).  "Be Thou An Example"

2010; age 23.  Field Coordinator in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (3 weeks).  "Courage to Stand Strong"

2011; age 24.  Field Coordinator in Gainesville, GA, St. Petersburg, FL, Miami, FL, & Bowling Green, KY (5 weeks).  Counselor in Palmyra, NY (1 week).  "Believe.  Hope.  Endure."

So...as you can see...EFY has been a HUGE part of my life.

Huge is an understatement.

I would live for this time of year.

I feel like I need to be doing something to prepare for it, but then I remember I won't be there.

I won't be there to do the EFY line dances.

I won't be there to lead orientation.

I won't be there to help the youth with awesome cheers.

I won't be there to eat nasty cafeteria food go to Zaxby's instead.

I won't be there to have ice cream mountain.

I won't be there for pizza night dance parties.

I won't be there to watch the boys escort the girls.

I won't be there to play FHE games on Monday nights.

I won't be there to sing at Morningsides or Firesides.

I won't be there for the cheer off.

I won't be there to receive flowers made of toilet paper from the boys.

I won't be there for testimony meetings.

I won't be there to watch the boys try to swoon the ladies with their guitar or singing skills.

I won't be there to hate wearing pants on hot summer days.

I won't be there to deepen my friendships with counselors.

I won't be there to share my testimony with youth.

I won't be there to play in the rain that's bound to ruin Games Night.

I won't be there to see the sign that says "Brenau University" or "Eckerd College."

I won't be there to listen to the same Miley Cyrus songs over and over again.

I won't be there to get a wristband.

I won't be there for the door tag making parties on Sunday night.

I won't be there to get free slurpees on 7/11.

I won't be there to act like an idiot and have the youth still think I'm cool.

I won't be there to learn more about the gospel.

I won't be there to see some youth SO excited to be around other Mormons. (That was me growing up.)

I won't be there to see some youth come in Monday ticked and leave Saturday a changed person.

I just won't be there...

Excuse me while I wipe the tears off my face.

This post was supposed to be happy, but it somehow turned quite sad.

So let's quickly turn it happy again as we recap the favorite moments of my summers.

I only have 2004-on, seeing as previous to that I took 7 disposable cameras to EFY.  No digital age then!

EFY 2004: Britt, Kate, and I...the 3 Musketeers.  We talked about EFY allll year and planned out our outfits weeks in advance. 

EFY 2005: Amber, me, Juliana, Ashley.  Oh 2005...this was the year you brought Smash into my life.

 EFY 2007: Ash and I.  Stoked on life to be counselors!  Life long dream coming true!

EFY 2008: Kate, Karly, Britt, me, Ash.  It was seriously AMAZING being counselors with all my best friends.  Nothing like sharing that experience with them!

EFY 2010:  My BC team: Mallorie, Paul, me, Jake, Stephanie, & Daniel.  They were amazing to work on a team with!

EFY 2010: My team!  Andre, Heather, Philip, Jordan, Annette, Ellen, me, Ash, Ben, & Ammon.  They made my first year as a coordinator so enjoyable!

EFY 2011: My honey and me.  I was SO glad Alex could join me so he could fully understand why I love EFY so much...now he's hooked too. :)

EFY 2011: My best EFY friends! :) Rachel, Ash, Kate, and me.  I love them!

I hope y'all know how hard that was to only pick one picture per year.  I have hundreds and hundreds of EFY pictures!  

This is Ash and I at Brenau for the very last time together.  Sad day.

Dear EFY,

You will definitely be missed this summer.

Please don't forget me.

You have truly made one of the biggest impacts on my life.

I forever love you and all that you have taught me.

Love, your die hard fan...Kaycie

Stanley Vernon Maurer.

But better known to me as Granddad.

My Granddad passed away on April 20, and since he's just been on my mind a lot...I thought I'd jot it all down.

My Granddad was born on April 21, 1930.  He was the youngest of 3...just like me.

He spent some time in the Army and married my Grandma Sally.

While stationed in Alabama, they had my Daddy.

My Granddad made his living as a music teacher, with Grandma as a librarian.

However, my Granddad had a business brain and started up multiple tour boat businesses in PA, FL, and SC...(which is where my family comes in.)

Granddad started up some boats on Hilton Head Island, Daddy was done with school at FSU, so there our family took root and we've been there ever since. :)

I've always had a special bond with Granddad.

He has just always been a part of my life and I knew he supported me, loved me, and would do anything for me.

So bear with me as I take a walk down memory lane and share some of my favorite moments of my Granddad...if I can see the screen as I am already welling up.

*This is one of my favorite pictures of Granddad and I.  He taught me what a cow says.  I remember that green chair so well.  I will always remember crawling up on his lap and reading books or watching TV.

*When I was home-schooled in K-2, Granddad always took me one day a week.  Daddy would take me to the harbor with him and Granddad would pick me up from there.  We would go straight to PJ's deli right there in the harbor and get a toasted bagel with cream cheese.  Then in between my bites he would let me play on the playground.  He said it was my PE class.  We charted out an obstacle course on the playground and every week I would race myself and he would time me.  He always said I beat my previous time.  But now I wonder if he just told me that and he never really timed it at all. :) Next we would go back to their house and I would get my classwork done.  I can very distinctly remember doing sentence phrasing while the OJ Simpson trial was on.  Then it was lunch time.  We would always go to Burger King and I would always get chicken fingers.  And we would always sit in the exact same booth.  I remember one time there were some construction workers sitting in our booth so we just waited until they left.  I also remember Grandma taking me to Burger King and she tried to sit in that booth with me and I said, "Nope.  That's Granddad's and my booth.  We can't sit there."  After lunch Granddad would take me back to the harbor and Mama would pick me up.  I really treasure those school days with Granddad.

*Our family would go to my grandparent's house every Sunday for dinner!  We always sat in the same spots and Mama always got her special plate because that plate did not make her teeth hurt when she used a knife on it.  Some Sundays, Mama and Daddy would let us take Matey, our beloved dog, with us.  Grandma wasn't too fond of it, so it was sparingly.  Whenever we would come through the door we could hear Granddad say "Hello!" from the living room and Grandma say "Hello!" from the kitchen.  (That's where I'm pretty sure they both spent the majority of their time.)  Then Matey would come around the corner and Granddad would laugh and say, "Oh!  It's the Granddog!"

*When we would sit down at this Sunday dinner every week, Granddad would start with the same things.  He would sit down at the head of the table and say, "Well...everything looks very good, girls."  He would ask someone to pray.  But he never closed his eyes, which made me laugh when I was little. Then after the prayer he would ask us to give him a school report.

*After these dinners, Granddad and Daddy watched 60 Minutes.  If one of us came in and started talking Granddad would say, "It's quiet hour!"  He was always joking with us, but it's stuck.  Now Daddy says it.  But Daddy has like 20 out of the 24 hours of the day as "quiet hour."  He just says it whenever. :)

*Granddad got me a gun for my 8th birthday.  My mother was not happy.

*At my grandparent's property in FL, they have a golf cart.  When I was around 12, Granddad told me he was going to teach me how to drive it and then give me a test.  If I passed the test, I would get my own golf cart license.  Thankfully, I passed, so I got my own golf cart license...scribbled down on a yellow sheet of paper.

*It was hard on our grandparents when my sisters and I all came out to Utah for school.  Whenever we would call them in FL Granddad typically answered the phone.  He said "Hello!" with the emphasis on the first syllable, not the second like most do.  Then this is how the beginning of our conversations would go down:

"Hi Granddad!"

"Which one are you?!"

"This is Kaycie...your favorite."

"Oh Kaycie!  I knew that!  Where are you?"

"I'm in Utah."

"Well..you sound like you're right next door!"

Every time.  Without fail.

And I could totally just hear his voice while typing that.

He would always ask about work, music, church, etc.

And since I've been married he's added: "How's my man, Alex?" to his repertoire.

*Granddad told us all we were his favorite, but then tell us not to tell our sisters.

*Granddad called me "kayc" and I loved it.  Lots of people do call me that, but for some reason I thought it was extra cute when he said it.

I could go on and on and on...but I won't.

It's been hard being away from my grandparents since high school.

I wish I could see them more, especially in these last few years.

The last time I saw my Granddad was at my wedding.

Even though it was hard for them to get there from FL, I'm so grateful he was able to at least meet Alex and be there for this special time in my life.

I really do hate that he will never get to spend time with Alex in this life, because I think they would have really enjoyed each other.

I miss you Granddad.

Words cannot express how much you mean to me.

Thank you for your example of hard work, the value of education, humor, and being a great grandparent.

I love you so so much.

We are going to Florida for his funeral on May 12.  I am so excited to go be with my family, spend time with my Grandma, and share the joy of my grandparent's property with Alex.  Even though it's a poopy reason to go, I'm still happy for this trip.