Swamps.

So there was this cat.
And her name was Swampy.
She might not have been the brightest of cats in this world, but she definitely was the sweetest.
We got her when I was 11.
Karly found her at Girl's Camp when she was just a few days old. Of course they brought her home, cause that's what we do in my house. The first time I saw her she was so tiny and so cute!
At first we weren't sure if we were going to keep her or try to give her away.
We kept her and named her Swampy since we found her by the Okefenokee Swamp in GA.
She was the funniest kitten ever! She loved to play and explore and seriously had the cutest face in the world.
She loved to cuddle and loved to be around people all the time!
She was a very very sick kitten though.
Being abandoned at such a young age left her to fend for herself, which is not so easy when you're a day old. Because of that she was very sick.
The vets actually told us they didn't think she would last very many years.
They don't know what family they're dealing with here. We are the Maurers. Animals do not die in our house. They stick it out to the very end.
So year after year after year Swampy was still with us.
She became quite the scardy-cat however, which was weird considering how much of an explorer she was as a kitten.
She was scared of being outside [again, odd] and scared of new people...especially men.
She had trouble using the box.
She favored dad's shoes instead. [Daddy wasn't a fan of that.]
She loved being wrapped up in a blanket and being held like a baby.
She loved to give kisses.
She loved to play with our other cat, Tigger.
She was generally a happy cat.
As time went on she finally learned how to use the box, but she got sicker. Her poor little nose was raw and crusted.
She sneezed all the time and had watery eyes.
But oh was she cute and still just as sugary sweet.
Her new best friend became Wicked, Karly's cat.
Wicked brought a new life out in Swampy.
They seriously were inseparable the 9 months or so Wicked lived at our house.
That was a sad sad day when Wicked left. Swampy did not take it well.
She missed her best friend.
Well...this past January Swampy passed away.
I still can't believe it...it kinda feels surreal.
Maybe because she died while I was gone it doesn't feel real yet.
I'm used to being away from her now.
But what I'm not used to is being at home at not having her there.
She was always one to come cuddle with me.
She was always one to crave attention even if you're doing something "important."
She was just so darn cute.
I was looking through pictures and found one of her and Wicked and it made me miss her.
So I suppose Swampy is up with our other beloved pets.
I'm grateful our family had her for the 11 1/2 years that we did.
She was always the "kitten"...just like me.
We never grew out of those baby names and we enjoyed our spots.
I think that's why we had a special bond.
I miss you, Swamps.

[Here are some videos of Swampy and Wicked.]

My Worth.

I have a question. [or a couple.]
Do you ever wonder if you matter in this world?
Would it make a difference whether you were in it or not?
Would people care if you were no longer here?
Have you made an impact in the lives of others?
Is the world a better place because you're in it?

Don't worry...this is not some sort of depressing, suicidal post.
It's just some questions that I have been thinking about.
I will admit that sometimes I get down on myself.
Sometimes I feel like I haven't done enough.
I could have gotten better grades, I could have done more for Club Style, I should have tried out for folk dance sooner so now I could be traveling the world, I could have gone visiting teaching more, I should have kept in better contact with close friends, I could have served more, etc. There's an endless amount to what I could've/should've.

But then I read these things:
"You are one of the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for and I'm so blessed to be a part of your life." -Ashley Kay Sant

"You are an amazing person. Club Style is my hero for introducing me to you. My life has changed so much ever since we have become friends.I know that you genuinely care. I've never had a friend offer to drop everything and come to my side when I was having a rough time and know they actually meant it and they actually would, except for you. You have no idea how much that meant to me, and still means to me, after needing a good friend to be there for me and to talk to but having only half-hearted attempts or nothing from others." -McKell. Lyn Forbes

"She’s our baby–the one we didn’t know we needed until we had her. Her golden honey eyes bewitched me from the moment I saw her, and wrapped around her pinky I have been since I very first held her tiny body.
She’s a woman now, full of brightness and laughter, sunkissed with just the right amount of sass. Yes, at times she’s a little airy, and oh, does it makes us laugh, but she’s smart and talented and completely capable. Well actually mostly capable–that is, as capable as the baby of a family can be. Equally lovely, funny, sweet, and strong, full of faith and conviction and goodness, I’m sometimes amazed at who she’s become.
And yet, I’m not.
We always knew she was special." -Krista Maurer

These are just a few of the things I could read that give me that boost to keep on going, to realize I do make a difference in this world. Just when I think no one would miss me I get a text from Leah with just a simple "I love you." I get a funny text message from Daddy while he's watching Sesame Street. I hear a Karen Carpenter song and don't hear her singing, but my Mama instead. [cause she's more amazing.]

I have so many blessings in my life: my parents, my sisters, my friends, my education, my talents, my jobs, and of course my incredible boyfriend. [we can't forget him! :]

So next time you feel like you have no worth...go read some of those text messages you've saved or those blog spots about you or those notes that you've kept in the shoebox at the top shelf of your closet. Then say a prayer thanking your Heavenly Father for putting you on this Earth and THIS time...just as you were meant to be. You'll feel better. I testify.