Thursday, June 28, 2012

Life long dream!

TODAY (ok...well tonight...like LATE tonight...basically tomorrow)...
I head to the Big Apple!
BUT...I have to be at the airport at 10pm so it still feels like today.
Then we head out at 11:55pm, and 4.5 hours later...I'll be there!
I've been so giddy all morning!
I could not sleep well last night and woke up before my alarm.
I'm at work right now, go to a reception with Alex, head home to finish packing, then BOOM...off to the airport I go.
This day seems like it will never end since I'm so anxious!
I am so excited for this trip filled with Broadway, sight seeing, shopping, exploring, and family time!

The one VERY big downer is that I won't have my sweet husband with me.
But since it's a girl's trip...no boys allowed.
I feel terrible though with the thought of leaving his handsome face for 8 whole days.
Last night I went grocery shopping to get him all stocked up for the time I'm away.
I even got him a lot of goodies: pizzas, ice cream, wheat thins (sundried tomato and basil, duh), pringles (multigrain), hot cheetos, apple juice (the only way to go when your blood sugar drops. :)
The lady at the check out line asked if I was having a party.
Haha, nope...just feel bad about going on this extravaganza without him. :(
But, it just means I'll be all prepped for when we can come together!

Wish me luck!
Here I go on this midnight train to Georgia...or plane to New York...:)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

So Emotional.

Now I know I'm a girl, but...really?  I get so emotional sometimes.
(I'm doomed for when I'm pregnant.)
No matter how many times I watch when Ross and Rachel break up in season 3, or when they FINALLY get for real back together in the finale, I cry every single time.

Alex obviously does not understand it.
He's always like "You know what happens..." after I watch them break up.
It doesn't matter.  Still crying.

Or when we were watching the NBA finals last week.
Now, I'm not a Lebron James hater, but I just like Kevin Durant way more.
So when the Thunder lost, I was bummed.
But what got me even more was watching Durant's face!
His whole demeanor showed just how upset he was.
You could tell he wanted it SO badly.
His sad little face had to congratulate everyone on the Heat, hug all of his teammates, walk to the locker room, and then hug his family...that's when I really lost it!
He's a class act, that Kevin Durant.

And then sometimes I think about if all the sudden Alex wasn't there.
(Or I straight up have a dream about it...morbid, I know)
And that just really gets me.
What also gets me is just hugging him after we've been apart all the live long day.
And then I'm SO grateful I have him and the love and connection we share.
THAT'S where it's at, my friends.

Whoo...I need to stop crying.
Packing for NYC will perk me up!!
I leave TOMORROW!!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Ragnar: Wasatch Back 2012!


So way back in the beginning of February, my sister in law, Brittany, texted me while I was at my husband's band's show at Liquid Joe's.  She asked if I would be interested in running a relay race on Father's Day weekend.  I told her that I was in no way, shape, or form a runner.  She said that that was ok and that it was mostly about having so much fun and having a great time with your fellow runners.  Being as I love Brittany, I said yes.  Little did I know that she 100% lied to me...you do in fact need to be a runner.  Or at least that would have been helpful.  She did NOT lie about the fact that it would be so much fun and that I would have an awesome time with my fellow runners. :)

I definitely should have started hard core training THEN...but I didn't.  I kept going about my daily business and kept telling myself I'd start "next week."  But all of the sudden, Ragnar was 6 weeks away and I had not started up my running.  I still worked out and had my dance classes, but HATED the treadmill.  But I started to buckle down and run.  And by run I mean maybe 2-3 miles on the treadmill or run around my complex.  The week leading up to it, I tried harder, but only got up to about 5 miles...on a treadmill...in a controlled temperature gym...with "Friends" on TBS.

Remember that conversation Britt and I had in February?  And she said it was Father's Day weekend?  Well...in my mind, that meant Saturday and Sunday.  And no where in any of our meetings did anyone say otherwise.  Well, Friday, June 15th, rolled around and my sister, Krista, gives me a call.  (Krista was our driver.)  She wakes me up and says, "Where are you?"  I'm like what are you talking about?  As you're all beginning to suspect...I had the days wrong.  The race was Friday and Saturday and I was supposed to be packing up our van with my team at that very moment.  I immediately burst into tears!  I was not ready!  I had not packed my bag, I had not gone grocery shopping, I had not stretched, and most importantly...I was not mentally prepared for this to start TODAY!  My sister just told me to get my running stuff together and just get there!  There was more than enough food and to just get my essentials.  My sweet husband made me breakfast and packed up some snacks while I raced around our apartment like a mad woman getting my running clothes, blankets, and anything else I knew I would need.  I got out of there in 10 minutes and ended up only being about 35 minutes late.  When I got there, my team had already decorated the car and packed it up.  So all I had to do was put my own stuff in, we took a picture, I kissed my husband goodbye, and off we went!


(We hated our team name that Van 1 came up with, so we just called ourselves "Sexxxy Mommas" :)
My awesome team: Nikki, Brittany, Liz, Tiff, Jaclyn, and myself!

Someone got the brilliant idea to add up the amount of children our ladies had birthed.  I had no contribution (obvs), but Brittany made up for it with her 7! :)

For those of you that do not know about what a Ragnar relay is all about...let me explain.  So you're on a team of 12 people, but divided up in to 2 vans.  You pretty much only see your other van when you're exchanging off to them and then when you cross the finish line together.  You always go in the same order (3 times in a row) and every leg is varying amounts of lengths and hardness.  Since Ragnar has to put exchanges in convenient places, some legs are not very long and some are extremely long.  They also have van support on a lot of the legs.  That means your van can stop along the way during your leg to give you water, spritz you down, pump up the jams, give you some cheers, etc.  I, however, got the legs where there was no van support.  I was #11!  

We left Bountiful and headed on up near Ogden.  (The race actually starts in Logan, but Van 1 had started at 5:30am and our van met up with them in Ogden.)  There we got our safety speech, our orange flags, etc. so we were all good to go the rest of the race.  Jaclyn was runner #7 so she was the first in our van to start racing!  Nikki was #8, Britt was #9, Liz was #10, and Tiffany was #12!  And Krista was our awesome driver!  Poor Tiffany and I never had van support. :(

I was feeling pretty good until Liz started her leg.  Then the jitters started!  All these questions started flooding my mind.  Could I do this?  Would I be able to finish?  Would my team be so mad at me if I did not finish as quick as they wanted me to?  Let me tell you why I was so anxious...my first leg was 7.3 miles UPHILL!  From the start of my leg, to the end of my leg, I gained over 2,000 feet!  Well, Liz rounded the corner and I did not have time to think anymore.  The moment of truth was here!  She slapped that orange band on my wrist and off I went!
Here I am when I started!  My heart was pumping so hard!

My first mile I was fairly pumped!  I couldn't believe how long I was running uphill!  It was kind of fun!  When people would pass me (or "kill me" as they say in the racing world), people would wave and say: "Good Job!" or "You're doing awesome!"  I loved it!  It made me not care that people were passing me!  Then the stamina started to wane.  So from there on out I would run, speed walk, run, speed walk and just kept that rhythm until LOW AND BEHOLD...DOWNHILL!  I plowed down that thing!  Unfortunately, it was only about .5 of a mile before the road went back on up.  There was a water station there and they told me I had gone 3.5 miles!  I seriously was like, "Are you kidding me?  I feel like I've already gone 7.3!" But no stopping now...so I kept on going.  It was really getting hard at this point!  My body wanted to stop and the sun was beating down on me.  I slowed down for a little bit to regain my strength and then started to run again.  I hit another water station and they told me I had 2.5 miles to go!  UGH!  I really didn't know if I could do anymore, but I had to!  Soon after, my body language must have shown I was ready to give up because all the sudden, I felt 2 fists in my back and this guy was behind me yelling, "GO!  DO NOT GIVE UP!"  He stayed with me for a little bit and then went on ahead.  I was so impressed with his sportsmanship.  FINALLY...I saw this sign:
...which I have learned, is the absolute, most deceiving sign!  You are so excited, but then it feels like it really is 3 miles, instead of just 1!  Soon after I saw the exchange, all the cars, people waiting, and it really pumped me up to push myself that last little bit!  I passed the Ragnar man and I heard him say into his walkie talkie "691."  As I rounded around I heard another person yell, "691!"  And then I saw my teammate, Tiffany!  I slapped that bracelet on her and off she went!  

My other teammates and Krista were there as well.  They got me water and let me sit down in the shade!  Then they told me the greatest thing ever: that I had finished 20-30 minutes sooner than they thought!  I felt so accomplished!  I had gone 7.3 miles uphill in 1 hour and 49 minutes!  I honestly thought I was going to be at least 2.5 hours!  It felt amazing...and it kinda hurt. :)  My hip flexors were dying!  I stretched, Krista rubbed my shoulders, and after a bagel, I was feeling better.  When Tiffany finished, our van was all done with our first legs!  We were near Morgan, so we went to the Subway there, then went on the Morgan Middle School.  We spread out on the lawn in our sleeping bags and attempted to sleep for 2 hours.  It really wasn't much of a sleep since it was like 6 in the evening.  And our Van 1 were speedy speedies so our off time was cut short.  Our van started up again in East Canyon, by this gorgeous lake!
Jaclyn started us up again and was the only runner in our van that got partial daylight, but finished in the dark.
The sunset was gorgeous!
After Jaclyn and Nikki, I started to get really tired.  So when Brittany started at 11pm, I attempted to sleep in the backseat.
It was not so successful.  I think I fell asleep for like 5 mins and the rest of the time I was just relaxing.  When Liz started her run, I started to mentally prepare myself.  Krista got us to my exchange so I could get ready.  When you run at night you have to wear a reflective vest, a flashing light on your back, and a headlamp.  I got all ready to go and then Tiff and I waited for Liz to get to the exchange.  My anxiety really started to hit the roof then.  I kinda started to do the pee dance.  Then I talked with the Ragnar man there.  I asked him if anybody had been attacked by a wild animal while running at night.  He said no, then told me someone saw a mountain lion last year!  Um...ok, man.  You did not calm my nerves, as that was the one animal I really DID NOT want to encounter.  He told me it was way high up and didn't bother anyone.  Then I asked him if anyone had been attacked by a male.  He thought I meant a male animal.  It was fairly entertaining when I meant a human.  He really did think I was nuts and said no.  I knew the only way I was going to stay calm was if I could always see a runner in front of me and a runner behind me.

Then they called 691 and here came Liz!  She slapped that bracelet and off I went on my 2nd leg.  This leg was 5.5 miles of a variety.  Some up, some down, some flat.  My nerves were easily put to rest when I realized we were on a road so vans were constantly passing me to get to the next exchange and I had a lot of runners around me.  It was really cool to see a string of headlamps behind me and a string of flashing red lights in front of me.  I could tell I was by a lake for the majority of the run, but there was no moon so it was not so romantic.  I did indeed see a wild animal...but it was only a deer.  I was hoping it would not run out in front of me though!  After about 3 miles, I was so tired!  But then Fergie came through and "Fergalicous" came on my iPod.  Twas awesome and pumped me up to keep going.  I did not run as fast as I wanted to, but I really did enjoy myself on that run.  My body was so tired, but running at 2:30 in the morning was pretty cool, especially when a bunch of other people are as well.  I was so happy when the bright lights of the exchange were close and then I saw Tiffany! (She was my favorite face of this experience. :)  I did that leg of 5.5 miles in 1 hour and 13 minutes.

Tiffany was done a little over an hour later and then our van headed off to another school to rest up for our last legs!  The sun was starting to come up when we hit our sleeping bags!  Our van had put the sun to sleep and woke it on up!  Crazy!  I fell straight to sleep that time and we got about 2 hours before we had to get to the exchange.
Bagels were my favorite choice of food.
Once Jaclyn took off, we supported her some, and then waited at Nikki's exchange.  That is where we took this following picture!
At a bunch of the exchanges, there were people spray painting on the Ragnar symbol.  Mine is lime green, which is hard to see in this picture.  And this was our random friend who decided to show off his Ragnar tattoo.

Jaclyn came in and was done!!  Then Nikki was off!  Her leg took us from Heber to Midway.  We supported her along the way.  This is us at her exchange.  There were Honey Buckets at every exchange!  As gross as they are...thank heaven for Honey Buckets!!
I'm obviously showing a lot of love for that Honey Bucket.

One of the coolest things happened at this exchange.  We were with Brittany pumping her up and getting her ready.  Brittany was the leg that started up the hill that they call the "ragnar hill."  It was pretty steep and about 8 miles long.  Brittany and Liz split it.  Britt was really anxious about it.  This one girl was about to do that same leg, but yelled out to everyone around, "My dad is about to get here. He has really had a hard time with this leg!  His knees are struggling, but he is so stubborn and won't let one of our runners finish it for him.  Can you guys really cheer for him when he turns the corner?"  Oh geez...I'm getting goosebumps now.  Well, he rounded the corner.  He was probably in his mid 50s or so.  Everyone started cheering for him!  All of us started crying!  He was powering through, but you could tell he was having a hard time.  He kept putting his face down, which I'm thinking was so none of us could tell he was crying...but we all could. :) Then he slapped the bracelet on his daughter and then they hugged!  It seriously was the coolest moment to witness!  Then she was off and he hobbled on to the lawn and someone got him a cane.  Shortly after Brittany took off.

We got Nikki in the car and we went to go support Brittany!  We supported Britt a lot since she had a hard hill to climb!  She rocked it!  She made friends with this one guy and they became buddies to help each other up the hill.  His name was Ken...he was awesome! :) We really got in to the spirit on the Ragnar hill.  We were cheering other people on, giving them water, spraying them down with a spray bottle, and just loving the camaraderie!  After 4.4 miles, Liz took over and did awesome as well!  Then, as always, the anxiety starts since I realize I am next.  I had another long one ahead of me.  This last leg of mine was 7.0 miles and was mostly downhill.  Now, if this leg had been first...I probably would have flown down, but being as this leg was my 3rd, even downhill was not so easy.
Here I go!
Yeah...it's all downhill after that first uphill you see in the picture.
My leg started our descent into Park City!  It was so pretty!  I was able to power through a lot of the first half of my run.  I was running at a good speed and was feeling pretty good.  My hip flexors loosened up and did not hurt, but what did start to hurt...my left foot arch!  Like SO painful.  Going downhill is not so kind...it was very jolting and every time I came down on my left foot it would send a shock wave through my foot and ankle.  I tried not to think about it and just listen to my songs and look at the scenery.  About half way through the run, there is this straight up hill that goes for about .5 miles...which lasts forever when you're going uphill!!  Humorously, Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe" song came on while on that hill.  There was a water station at the top and they told me I had gone 4 miles.  Alright...I'm over halfway!  I can do this.  But I really couldn't.  My body had honestly taken enough.  It did not want to go anymore.  I began to cry as my left foot was sending shooting pain everywhere now.  I began to say a prayer.  It went a little something like this:

"Heavenly Father, I don't think I can do this.  I want to...I really do.  But I hurt so badly.  I need you to give my physical strength and push me to do this.  Please.  I don't want to let down my teammates or myself.  Please....Please."

So I started to run again and pushed through.  Did my pain go away?  Nope.  But I was able to stop thinking about it momentarily.  I went probably another mile and my faith was beginning to fade again. I guess my body language is easy to read because this lady came up and asked what was wrong.  She reached into her fanny pack and handed me an ice cold sponge.  She told me to rub it wherever on my skin that it hurts.  Then off she went running.  That sponge was awesome!  It calmed down my calves and it felt amazing on my face!  At the last water station they told me I had 1.5 to go.  The guy there told me, "If you walk...you get there slower.  If you run...you hurt more.  Take your pick."  I had to run.  I HAD to do it.  So I did...I ran.

When I started my final descent, I could see the exchange down at the bottom.  Then I saw that blasted "1 mile to go" sign.  I started to hurt more than ever before.  I stopped running briefly to walk.  Then I got really mad at myself and began to run again.  Then I repeated this whole run, walk, get mad, and run again routine.  Then, as if divinely inspired, "The World's Greatest" by R. Kelly came on.  Now I know he did a bunch of crap...but this song is where it's at!  At just the moment where the big, black choir gets to the big key change, I see my teammates and my sister.  (And I'm crying all over again) I hear the cowbells and the cheering.  I'm there!  I'm so close!  I power through as the tears start to flow!  I get to Tiffany and slap on the bracelet.  She was so sweet.  Before she took off she asked how I was and told me I was awesome!  Then I hugged Krista.  (Krista was crying as well.)  She told me over and over again how proud she was of me, how strong I was, and that I was amazing.  My teammates joined around and gave me hugs and words of encouragement.  Then I thought to myself: I DID IT!  It took a couple minutes for it to sink in.  I did that 7.0 miles in 1 hour and 28 minutes!  So all together I went 19.8 miles in 4.5 hours!

We had to get on the shuttle, which takes us to a school in Park City where THE finish line is, since Tiff is the last runner.  There they had smoothies and other various foods for us.  We met up with our van 1, and then when Tiffany got there, we all cross the finish line together!!  We had ALL done it!
That's me cheering in the back. :)
Here are all 12 of us.  The 12 of us had gone from Logan to Park City.  The 12 of us had gone 197 miles in 35 hours!  If that's not impressive...then I don't know what is.
Back: Tiff, me, Liz, Britt  Front: Jaclyn, Nikki
But really...I owe it all to these 5 wonderful ladies and Krista!  They were my cheerleaders.  They were the ones that made me realize I can do hard things...harder than I ever realized.  They were the ones that made me laugh.  They were the ones that buoyed me up.  I am eternally bonded to these women and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to have this experience with them.
That's right!  I earned that medal!  I may just wear it everywhere from now on...

We got our free shirts, free pizza, and off we went as we were all seriously beat at that point!
Well, it's been 2 days since we finished.  I am still hobbling around.  I'm impressed at how quickly my quads, hip flexors, and butt recovered.  My shoulders have a lot of knots, my calves are pretty tight, and my dang left foot is still kinda killing me.  It gets better each day though.  I told Alex last night, "You know...my body hurts so much, but I don't even care!  It was so worth it!"  Then I followed it up with, "Kind of like the first 5-6 times we had sex."  TMI?  Too bad...my blog. :)

I so want to do Ragnar again!  It was awesome!  I really want Alex to do it with me so he can understand.  It was such a cool experience, and I want him to have it as well.  Brittany wants to try and do a family team for next year...so maybe I can convince him. :)

Ragnar really helped me see just what the human spirit it all about!  The human spirit is about supporting one another.  Strangers supported me, I supported strangers.  I supported my teammates, they supported me.  The human spirit is about doing hard things.  I, personally, went 19.8 miles on foot in a matter of 24 hours.  I never thought I could do that.  And finally, the human spirit is about having the ability to overcome, with the help of our Father in Heaven.  Ragnar was not only a fun experience for me...but it was also a spiritual experience for me.  I felt so close to my Heavenly Father and I felt so incredibly grateful for the strong body He was given me.

Ragnar 2013?!  I sure hope so! :)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Summer Goals

So this is my favorite picture from last summer.
We were just freshly married and absolutely loving life!
I miss the beach.  Oh so badly...
So now it's summer in Utah.
This will be the first time in my ENTIRE life where Hilton Head Island will not be a part of my summer.
I can't think about it too much or I start to cry.  (Shh...don't tell my husband because then he feels all bad and then mopes for a few days.)
But in all actuality...HHI is my home.  It's where I feel the most calm.  It's where I feel is paradise.  It's where everything is familiar.  It's where I grew up.
There is NOTHING like growing up on an island.  That's the life, man.
So unfortunately my classic summer rituals of:

beach
boats
dolphins
beach
Rita's italian ice
putt putt
beach
fireworks every tuesday
weekend trips to ATL
beach
family
Giuseppi's pizza
Fiesta Fresh
beach
just...that southern feel...

are just not in the cards for me this summer.
And I've decided the only way I'll be happy is to really just throw myself in to my husband, job, choreographing and making a list of things to do to make my first summer as a married woman awesome!
SO...here is my list of things to do with Alex:

Hogle Zoo (Alex will want to go once a week)
finger paint outside
go to dollar movies
hikes
go camping with our friends (already in the works)
go shooting on this said camping trip (also already in the works)
use sidewalk chalk
go to a drive in movie (never done in my life)
picnic
fly a kite
tye dye shirts
start my autobiography
rent a bicycle built for two
go to as many farmer's markets and yard sales as possible (which is hard since i work sat mornings)
feed ducks and/or fish
eat a snow cone once a week (so do-able)
scooter around (the Razor kind you have to push yourself)
build a fort and watch a movie (multiple times)
finish my Audrey Hepburn puzzle
learn how to make pizza dough
use our pass of all passes for the water park (lots)
go to baseball games
get tan!

And the pinnacle of my summer...NYC!!
(does anyone else sing the song from "Annie" every time they say "NYC"?
Yes...it's true, I am going to the Big Apple!
I've only been waiting my whole life for this.  I leave in 16 days and I couldn't be more giddy!

What are some good ideas YOU have for the summer?
P.S. Happy 10 months to that guy who is sorta the love of my life.

Monday, June 11, 2012

We'll walk thy chosen way

So church yesterday was just flat out awesome.
Fairly decent Sacrament speakers and our Relief Society lesson was great.  But that's mostly due to the fact that my friend, Katie, is an amazing teacher.
However, the best part was singing the Sacrament Hymn.
We sang "As Now We Take the Sacrament."
It's always been a song that I've loved singing, but for some reason...as soon as the organ started up, the Spirit within me was just so dang strong.
I couldn't even make it through the first line.
Then as the Sacrament was being passed I kept reading those 3 verses over and over again.
(If you want to listen while you read...here is an instrumental version.)

As now we take the sacrament, Our thoughts are turned to thee.
Thou Son of God, who lived for us, then died on Calvary.
We contemplate thy lasting grace, Thy boundless charity,
To us the gift of life was giv'n, For all eternity.

As now our minds review the past, we know we must repent.
The way to thee is righteousness--the way Thy life was spent.
Forgiveness is a gift from thee, We seek with pure intent.
With hands now pledged to do thy work, we take the sacrament.

As now we praise thy name with song, the blessings of this day...
Will linger in our thankful hearts, and silently we pray,
For courage to accept thy will, to listen and obey.
We love thee Lord, our hearts are full.  We'll walk thy chosen way.

I have a new goal to try and make my Sacrament time as meaningful every Sunday.
It really was an amazing experience.
I felt Christ's love for me so strongly, and I in return felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude and love for His atoning sacrifice.
I'm so grateful that because He was willing to come to this Earth, to live, and then atone and die, I have the ability to repent and live an eternal life.


On a much less reverent note...these chicks are FIERCE!
And this will always be one of my favorite hip hop dances from SYTYCD!
And this just flat out makes me cry every single time I watch it...and she's LDS, p.s. (If you can't tell by the temple in the background :)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Known.

Alex and I got back from my Granddad's funeral about a week ago.
It was both incredibly awesome and really hard.
It was surreal walking in to my grandparent's home and not hearing my Granddad's big, booming, familiar voice resonating within the family room walls.
It was really great hearing the nice things people would say about Granddad: favorite memories, funny stories, things he was known for, etc.

Not that I was trying to be morbid or anything, but it got me thinking about what people would say about me at my funeral.
What would I, Kaycie Foster, be known for?
Would people cry?  Laugh?  Mourn?
Would I be someone that they would only have good things to say?
I'd like to think that people would be like that.
So then I tried to think about what I want to be remembered by.

*someone who lived the gospel.
*someone who was dedicated to being a quality wife and mother.
*someone who loved her family.
*someone who was passionate about life.
*someone who was fiercely loyal.
*someone who helped others.
*someone who was a true friend.
*someone who never forgot others.
*someone who loved singing and dancing.
*someone who was positive.
*someone who made others feel worth something.
*someone who did not judge others.
*someone who brought humor and light.
*someone who did not have enemies.
*someone who had class.
*someone others can go to for support.
*someone who followed the Spirit.
*someone who was hardworking.
*someone who had integrity and virtue.
*someone who valued her body and took care of it.
*someone who was a true disciple of Christ.

Yes...those are the things I want to be remembered for.
Those are the things I want people to think of when they hear my name.
I am currently striving to live this way.
It definitely is not always easy.  Some days, I feel like the only person who notices me is my sweet husband.  And though I love him very very much, it's tough to get down on yourself and feel like you're not contributing at all to the world around you.
So even if it's small, I hope that every day I can do something to make the world a better place. 

Here's to having a long life to continue working on this attributes...

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The best.

I have the best husband.
You can argue if you feel necessary.
But know I will not change my opinion.
Alexander Michael Foster is the best.

Case in point:
On the rare occasion Alex has to get up before I do, he turns off his alarm and heads out to the living room.
I slowly start to drift off to slumberland again to the faint noises of SportsCenter and the shower.
When he comes in the room to get changed, he fixes the pillow and covers around me to make sure I'm most comfortable.
When he's ready to go, he kisses my cheek to quietly wake me.
I reach up and pull him close to my neck and tell him not to go.
Our conversation almost always goes like this:
A: I have to go, babe.
K: Nooo....
A: But I have to.
K: Nooo...
A: Why don't you want me to go?
K: Because you're my husband and I want to be with you.
A: But I have to go to (insert word here like "school" or "work).
K: Ohhh, ok.
A: I'll be back later.  I'll miss you.
K: I'll miss you too.

Then there's a varying amounts of kisses and "I love you's" depending on how quickly he needs to be out the door.
Then I hear him grab his keys, open the door, and close the door.
I usually drift back off to sleep for a little while longer.
However, this morning my phone made the noise it does when I receive a text message, not even 30 seconds after I heard our door close.
The screen lit up and said "Husband" on it.
I smiled and opened on up that text.
Sweet and simple it said: "I love you."

And that, my dear friends, is why I have the best husband.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

EFY Void.

So it's that time of year.
Well...it's normally that time of year.
You know...that time of year where I'm doing online trainings, meeting with my Area Administrator and Session Directors, emailing like crazy, and getting myself SO pumped for the best part of my summer year.

Have you guessed it yet?
Here I'll give you a clue.
It's a little acronym that goes like this...
EFY!!!

I'm just itching to get in those bright colored polos and pin on my name tag.
It's so weird thinking I won't be a part of EFY this year!  EFY has been a part of my summer for basically half of my life.

1999; age 12.  Participant in Atlanta, GA.  "A Season for Courage"
2000; age 13.  Stopped letting 12-13 yr olds go.
2001; age 14.  Participant in Atlanta, GA. "Remember the Promise"
2002; age 15.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "We Believe"
2003; age 16.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "Look & Live"
2004; age 17.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "Stand in the Light"
2005; age 18.  Participant in Gainesville, GA.  "A More Excellent Way"
2006; age 19.  Too young to be a counselor.
2007; age 20.  Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (4 weeks).  "Power in Purity"
2008; age 21.  Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (4 weeks).  "Steady & Sure"
2009; age 22.  Building Counselor in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (3 weeks).  "Be Thou An Example"
2010; age 23.  Field Coordinator in Gainesville, GA & St. Petersburg, FL (3 weeks).  "Courage to Stand Strong"
2011; age 24.  Field Coordinator in Gainesville, GA, St. Petersburg, FL, Miami, FL, & Bowling Green, KY (5 weeks).  Counselor in Palmyra, NY (1 week).  "Believe.  Hope.  Endure."

So...as you can see...EFY has been a HUGE part of my life.
Huge is an understatement.
I would live for this time of year.
I feel like I need to be doing something to prepare for it, but then I remember I won't be there.

I won't be there to do the EFY line dances.
I won't be there to lead orientation.
I won't be there to help the youth with awesome cheers.
I won't be there to eat nasty cafeteria food go to Zaxby's instead.
I won't be there to have ice cream mountain.
I won't be there for pizza night dance parties.
I won't be there to watch the boys escort the girls.
I won't be there to play FHE games on Monday nights.
I won't be there to sing at Morningsides or Firesides.
I won't be there for the cheer off.
I won't be there to receive flowers made of toilet paper from the boys.
I won't be there for testimony meetings.
I won't be there to watch the boys try to swoon the ladies with their guitar or singing skills.
I won't be there to hate wearing pants on hot summer days.
I won't be there to deepen my friendships with counselors.
I won't be there to share my testimony with youth.
I won't be there to play in the rain that's bound to ruin Games Night.
I won't be there to see the sign that says "Brenau University" or "Eckerd College."
I won't be there to listen to the same Miley Cyrus songs over and over again.
I won't be there to get a wristband.
I won't be there for the door tag making parties on Sunday night.
I won't be there to get free slurpees on 7/11.
I won't be there to act like an idiot and have the youth still think I'm cool.
I won't be there to learn more about the gospel.
I won't be there to see some youth SO excited to be around other Mormons. (That was me growing up.)
I won't be there to see some youth come in Monday ticked and leave Saturday a changed person.

I just won't be there...
Excuse me while I wipe the tears off my face.
This post was supposed to be happy, but it somehow turned quite sad.
So let's quickly turn it happy again as we recap the favorite moments of my summers.
I only have 2004-on, seeing as previous to that I took 7 disposable cameras to EFY.  No digital age then!

EFY 2004: Britt, Kate, and I...the 3 Musketeers.  We talked about EFY allll year and planned out our outfits weeks in advance. 

EFY 2005: Amber, me, Juliana, Ashley.  Oh 2005...this was the year you brought Smash into my life.

 EFY 2007: Ash and I.  Stoked on life to be counselors!  Life long dream coming true!

EFY 2008: Kate, Karly, Britt, me, Ash.  It was seriously AMAZING being counselors with all my best friends.  Nothing like sharing that experience with them!

EFY 2010:  My BC team: Mallorie, Paul, me, Jake, Stephanie, & Daniel.  They were amazing to work on a team with!

EFY 2010: My team!  Andre, Heather, Philip, Jordan, Annette, Ellen, me, Ash, Ben, & Ammon.  They made my first year as a coordinator so enjoyable!

EFY 2011: My honey and me.  I was SO glad Alex could join me so he could fully understand why I love EFY so much...now he's hooked too. :)

EFY 2011: My best EFY friends! :) Rachel, Ash, Kate, and me.  I love them!

I hope y'all know how hard that was to only pick one picture per year.  I have hundreds and hundreds of EFY pictures!  
This is Ash and I at Brenau for the very last time together.  Sad day.


Dear EFY,
You will definitely be missed this summer.
Please don't forget me.
You have truly made one of the biggest impacts on my life.
I forever love you and all that you have taught me.
Love, your die hard fan...Kaycie

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Stanley Vernon Maurer.

But better known to me as Granddad.

My Granddad passed away on April 20, and since he's just been on my mind a lot...I thought I'd jot it all down.

My Granddad was born on April 21, 1930.  He was the youngest of 3...just like me.
He spent some time in the Army and married my Grandma Sally.
While stationed in Alabama, they had my Daddy.
My Granddad made his living as a music teacher, with Grandma as a librarian.
However, my Granddad had a business brain and started up multiple tour boat businesses in PA, FL, and SC...(which is where my family comes in.)
Granddad started up some boats on Hilton Head Island, Daddy was done with school at FSU, so there our family took root and we've been there ever since. :)

I've always had a special bond with Granddad.
He has just always been a part of my life and I knew he supported me, loved me, and would do anything for me.
So bear with me as I take a walk down memory lane and share some of my favorite moments of my Granddad...if I can see the screen as I am already welling up.

*This is one of my favorite pictures of Granddad and I.  He taught me what a cow says.  I remember that green chair so well.  I will always remember crawling up on his lap and reading books or watching TV.


*When I was home-schooled in K-2, Granddad always took me one day a week.  Daddy would take me to the harbor with him and Granddad would pick me up from there.  We would go straight to PJ's deli right there in the harbor and get a toasted bagel with cream cheese.  Then in between my bites he would let me play on the playground.  He said it was my PE class.  We charted out an obstacle course on the playground and every week I would race myself and he would time me.  He always said I beat my previous time.  But now I wonder if he just told me that and he never really timed it at all. :) Next we would go back to their house and I would get my classwork done.  I can very distinctly remember doing sentence phrasing while the OJ Simpson trial was on.  Then it was lunch time.  We would always go to Burger King and I would always get chicken fingers.  And we would always sit in the exact same booth.  I remember one time there were some construction workers sitting in our booth so we just waited until they left.  I also remember Grandma taking me to Burger King and she tried to sit in that booth with me and I said, "Nope.  That's Granddad's and my booth.  We can't sit there."  After lunch Granddad would take me back to the harbor and Mama would pick me up.  I really treasure those school days with Granddad.

*Our family would go to my grandparent's house every Sunday for dinner!  We always sat in the same spots and Mama always got her special plate because that plate did not make her teeth hurt when she used a knife on it.  Some Sundays, Mama and Daddy would let us take Matey, our beloved dog, with us.  Grandma wasn't too fond of it, so it was sparingly.  Whenever we would come through the door we could hear Granddad say "Hello!" from the living room and Grandma say "Hello!" from the kitchen.  (That's where I'm pretty sure they both spent the majority of their time.)  Then Matey would come around the corner and Granddad would laugh and say, "Oh!  It's the Granddog!"

*When we would sit down at this Sunday dinner every week, Granddad would start with the same things.  He would sit down at the head of the table and say, "Well...everything looks very good, girls."  He would ask someone to pray.  But he never closed his eyes, which made me laugh when I was little. Then after the prayer he would ask us to give him a school report.

*After these dinners, Granddad and Daddy watched 60 Minutes.  If one of us came in and started talking Granddad would say, "It's quiet hour!"  He was always joking with us, but it's stuck.  Now Daddy says it.  But Daddy has like 20 out of the 24 hours of the day as "quiet hour."  He just says it whenever. :)

*Granddad got me a gun for my 8th birthday.  My mother was not happy.

*At my grandparent's property in FL, they have a golf cart.  When I was around 12, Granddad told me he was going to teach me how to drive it and then give me a test.  If I passed the test, I would get my own golf cart license.  Thankfully, I passed, so I got my own golf cart license...scribbled down on a yellow sheet of paper.

*It was hard on our grandparents when my sisters and I all came out to Utah for school.  Whenever we would call them in FL Granddad typically answered the phone.  He said "Hello!" with the emphasis on the first syllable, not the second like most do.  Then this is how the beginning of our conversations would go down:

"Hi Granddad!"
"Which one are you?!"
"This is Kaycie...your favorite."
"Oh Kaycie!  I knew that!  Where are you?"
"I'm in Utah."
"Well..you sound like you're right next door!"

Every time.  Without fail.
And I could totally just hear his voice while typing that.
He would always ask about work, music, church, etc.
And since I've been married he's added: "How's my man, Alex?" to his repertoire.

*Granddad told us all we were his favorite, but then tell us not to tell our sisters.

*Granddad called me "kayc" and I loved it.  Lots of people do call me that, but for some reason I thought it was extra cute when he said it.

I could go on and on and on...but I won't.
It's been hard being away from my grandparents since high school.
I wish I could see them more, especially in these last few years.

The last time I saw my Granddad was at my wedding.
Even though it was hard for them to get there from FL, I'm so grateful he was able to at least meet Alex and be there for this special time in my life.
I really do hate that he will never get to spend time with Alex in this life, because I think they would have really enjoyed each other.


I miss you Granddad.
Words cannot express how much you mean to me.
Thank you for your example of hard work, the value of education, humor, and being a great grandparent.
I love you so so much.


We are going to Florida for his funeral on May 12.  I am so excited to go be with my family, spend time with my Grandma, and share the joy of my grandparent's property with Alex.  Even though it's a poopy reason to go, I'm still happy for this trip.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Laela.

I'm sorry.
But there is no comparison.
I have the cutest niece in the entire world.
Sometimes I look at her and I'm seriously in awe of how darling she is.
Except when she's being a grouch. :)

First Braves game = success!