pb&j

You know how we all have those "ah hah" moments?

Where life suddenly makes that much more sense,
or you realize how much the stars are aligning?
Well...I had one of those moments today.

In my cooking class we were doing breakfast foods today. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. I rarely skip it because I think it is so satisfying and I think breakfast foods are awesome: pancakes, eggs, french toast, muffins, smoothies, toast, sausage, waffles, scones, bacon, granola, fruit, crepes, breakfast burritos, bagels, oatmeal, cereal, yogurt, and of course OJ. Now that I made you completely hungry...I shall now get to my point.
My kitchen was assigned to make a few things, one of which were PB&J Muffins. Now I was a bit skeptical at first...like how is that possible? PB&J is seriously one of my most favorite snacks, but how can you put it in a muffin? Well...we did. [And even hid some carrot puree in there to get some veggies in our diet. Sneaky sneaky.]
Well, they were delicious. Definitely something I fell in love with.
The flavors all melted together and oh man...it was just awesome.So as I'm walking out of class I'm texting Alex informing him of this heaven sent muffin. He was telling me that he wanted to try it, but then I decided to ask him if he really even liked PB&J...cause if you don't, I don't think you'd like this muffin. And this is how our convo went from there:

Me: Do you like PB&J sandwiches?
Alex: As long as its smooth peanut butter and there's not a ton of fruit chunks in it.
[me with a huge grin on my face because wow...that's exactly how I like my PB&J's.]
Me: Oh man...we are perfect for each other.
Alex: Yes! I was afraid of how you liked yours. haha

And there you have it ladies and gents...if I didn't know before...I know with a surety now that this Alex kid is UH-mazing. :] Shoot...I just realized I don't know his favorite brand of peanut butter OR jelly. This is vital to the PB&J experience. I'll ask him another day...

[sorry if this blog turns into an "Alex tribute" but let's face it...it just might.]

how much you love.

So maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but...I kinda love this guy right here:

He's so cute, huh?
I kinda think so.
I'll tell you a secret about him...he's perfect.
Ok, well no one is perfect unless your name starts with a "J" and ends with an "S."
But he's perfect...for me.
He listens to me when I'm either super excited and have so much to say he really couldn't get a word in edgewise OR he listens because I've had a hard day and just need to cry and let my frustration out OR he listens if he knows what's good for him when I'm upset with him and reprimand him. HA!
He will eat vegetables, not because he likes them [cause he doesn't unless it's carrots and ranch] but because I made them and I ask him to eat them. [yeah...like you would do with a 4 year old.]
He will give me a back rub whenever I ask...even if he's already given me 2 that day. [and he's good.]
Even though I'm sure he'd rather be listening to bands from like 30 years ago, he'll listen to what I like in the car.
He will watch chick flicks with me...and laugh. [He loves Never Been Kissed.]
He is the last text I receive at night and the first text I get when I start my day.
He loves my family and is just as excited as I am when we can spend time with them.
He usually lets me have my way. [Because he knows I'm right. :]
He's not too prideful to take my advise.
He looks at me ALL the time. Seriously, next time you're around him just watch. [I hope he does it now. haha.]
He has NO qualms about holding my hand, putting his arm around me, stroking my hair, or just looking at me...just because. [Girls need that, y'know?]
Those are just a few of the great things about this Foster kid and I'll stop because I'm sure he's embarrassed enough that I'm blowing his "cool" cover.You know how even though you know something's right, it still feels good to get righteous outside opinions? It just makes you even more settled?
Well that got to happen to me this past weekend.
Alex & I had the awesome privilege of taking up a few days residence at Krista's home.
We got to spend some great time with her and during one of those conversations while we were all literally nestled up in the comfy couch, [me obviously in the middle. Best spot...boyfriend on one shoulder, sister on the other.] she said something that maybe might not seem that profound to everyone else, but to me it was.
She was making Alex blush by saying some of the great things he does, like being so doting, but then she kinda got choked up and looked into his eyes and said, "I love how much you love my Kayc." [I think that's right. ha.]
Geez, now here I am getting choked up just replaying it in my head.
I guess because I hadn't really thought about it before.
I've been in relationships before; I've gotten flowers and chocolates; I've held hands and kissed other guys...but this is different.
You can seriously tell Alex is so head over heels for me.
ME!
Little 'ole me.
I don't know what I did...but he's whipped. HA!Another important thing about Krista's comment is the fact that she's letting him love me. My whole family's always been protective of me. It's kinda an unwritten rule when you're born last and everyone still calls you "the baby."
That protection only became worse about 2 years ago.
So whoever I did end up dating would have some major hurdles to jump over to get my family's approval.
He had a slight advantage since they all saw him with his missionary mantle about him, but even if they hadn't, I'm sure he still would've won them over.
I know he won me over.
I'd rather be with him than anyone else. We don't have to be doing something grand and extravagant. Just simple will do. So whether it's laying on a blanket in the park talking or playing the piano and guitar together, I'm happy.

I should probably end this post before he seriously gets way too embarrassed.
Haha...sorry, I just love to brag because it's worth bragging about!
But I'll stop. But basically Krista's words were a great thing for me to hear.

I love how much he loves me too.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, Mama dear!

You deserve a day [or month] full of music, neckos, ice cream, and your children.
Sorry none of us could be there with you!
But I hope the day was still great and you remembered how much we love and appreciate you.
Krista, Alex, and I spent the breakfast hour talking about you and how great you are.
Lots of good memories were said and laughed about.You really are an amazing woman and I hope that when I am a mother someday that I can be as fun, loving, talented, beautiful, and amazing as you!
You're the best mama in the whole world.
[I know everyone says that, but I'm the one that's right. :]
Thank you for everything you've done over the years including home schooling me, taking me to my various dance and music lessons, living your testimony, being so freakin funny, and letting us know that family was the most important thing.
I know you might feel like some things went unnoticed or unappreciated, but that's not true.
I value you more than you know!
There are many days when all I want is you.
I miss your singing, I miss your sense of humor, and I miss just being around you.
You're my number one lady and I hope you know how much I love you.Happy Mother's Day, Mama.
You're one stellar madre!

Nie's Message

You might remember this post from awhile back.
Well, I'm still obsessed with Nie and she literally inspires me every time I read her blog.
She has more strength than I could ever hope for.
The LDS church puts out these videos on YouTube called "Mormon Messages."
Their latest is on her, Nie. And her story.
I know it's been circling around and pretty much everyone has seen it, but I still wanted to share just because my testimony was strengthened from watching.

Click here to watch it.
And enjoy. [I know I did.]

Cramps and Recipes.

Yeah the title probably startles you.
Let me just say that I have never in my life had cramps this bad. Ever.
It's a good thing I don't have work tonight cause I can barely walk around my apartment.
So that leaves me confined to my bed, except for when I venture out for chips & salsa...because that's all that sounds good.
Being confined to my bed makes me think that I should be productive.
After going to hard for 4 months straight though...it is difficult to be productive when I do have free time.

However, I am taking one class this semester - SFL 340 [Family Meal Management]
It's only been one week, but I already LOVE it!
So far we have made baked apples and homemade bagels! I'm slightly obsessed with the bagels. We calculated how much it cost us to make 12 (35 cents) whereas you can buy a pack at the store of only 6 for like $3. Much better deal! PLUS...you can do whatever you want to them! Whole wheat, blueberries, onion, raisins, cinnamon, flaxseed, or ALL together. Haha. My fav combo we made was whole wheat blueberry and whole wheat onion. They were super easy too, which you wouldn't think they would be. The more practice I have I bet I'll get better and it will go faster. Someday I'll probably make them every week just to have them on hand.
Today we went on a field trip to the Macey's grocery store and Macy's department store. At Macey's we went behind the scenes and saw everything. There is SO much more in there than I ever realized and SO much more I am entitled to as a consumer than I ever realized. Then at Macy's she talked to us about what kitchen appliances we absolutely need, what pots and pans are best, differences in dishes, etc.
It was seriously SO fun!
So now I am kindof obsessed with all this junk. I used to make fun of my sister, Krista, for being so obsessed with kitchen gear, but I am turning into her. It's SO fun! Food is so great.

So now...back to my confinement of the day.
I've literally been looking at recipes for three [count them...THREE] hours and saving the ones that look good. I want to try them all out! Pretty much every recipe I can alter to be healthier by either adding veggies, using wheat flour, sweeteners instead of sugar, sugar free stuff, cooking spray instead of butter, etc. I wish I had more time to cook always. But it is way difficult to cook for just one person. PB&J wins the majority of the time. I need my boyfriend down here so I'll at least have someone else. [can you just move down here now, please? thanks.]
Anyways, that's been my afternoon.

Up next for the evening?
Chips and salsa.
Glee at 8. [T-minus 36 mins]
More fetal positioning.
Mustering out a prayer thanking Heavenly Father for my womanhood and those Godgiven womanly organs.

Hope your evening is filled with yummy food, recipe research, and a content uterus.

Swamps.

So there was this cat.
And her name was Swampy.
She might not have been the brightest of cats in this world, but she definitely was the sweetest.
We got her when I was 11.
Karly found her at Girl's Camp when she was just a few days old. Of course they brought her home, cause that's what we do in my house. The first time I saw her she was so tiny and so cute!
At first we weren't sure if we were going to keep her or try to give her away.
We kept her and named her Swampy since we found her by the Okefenokee Swamp in GA.
She was the funniest kitten ever! She loved to play and explore and seriously had the cutest face in the world.
She loved to cuddle and loved to be around people all the time!
She was a very very sick kitten though.
Being abandoned at such a young age left her to fend for herself, which is not so easy when you're a day old. Because of that she was very sick.
The vets actually told us they didn't think she would last very many years.
They don't know what family they're dealing with here. We are the Maurers. Animals do not die in our house. They stick it out to the very end.
So year after year after year Swampy was still with us.
She became quite the scardy-cat however, which was weird considering how much of an explorer she was as a kitten.
She was scared of being outside [again, odd] and scared of new people...especially men.
She had trouble using the box.
She favored dad's shoes instead. [Daddy wasn't a fan of that.]
She loved being wrapped up in a blanket and being held like a baby.
She loved to give kisses.
She loved to play with our other cat, Tigger.
She was generally a happy cat.
As time went on she finally learned how to use the box, but she got sicker. Her poor little nose was raw and crusted.
She sneezed all the time and had watery eyes.
But oh was she cute and still just as sugary sweet.
Her new best friend became Wicked, Karly's cat.
Wicked brought a new life out in Swampy.
They seriously were inseparable the 9 months or so Wicked lived at our house.
That was a sad sad day when Wicked left. Swampy did not take it well.
She missed her best friend.
Well...this past January Swampy passed away.
I still can't believe it...it kinda feels surreal.
Maybe because she died while I was gone it doesn't feel real yet.
I'm used to being away from her now.
But what I'm not used to is being at home at not having her there.
She was always one to come cuddle with me.
She was always one to crave attention even if you're doing something "important."
She was just so darn cute.
I was looking through pictures and found one of her and Wicked and it made me miss her.
So I suppose Swampy is up with our other beloved pets.
I'm grateful our family had her for the 11 1/2 years that we did.
She was always the "kitten"...just like me.
We never grew out of those baby names and we enjoyed our spots.
I think that's why we had a special bond.
I miss you, Swamps.

[Here are some videos of Swampy and Wicked.]

My Worth.

I have a question. [or a couple.]
Do you ever wonder if you matter in this world?
Would it make a difference whether you were in it or not?
Would people care if you were no longer here?
Have you made an impact in the lives of others?
Is the world a better place because you're in it?

Don't worry...this is not some sort of depressing, suicidal post.
It's just some questions that I have been thinking about.
I will admit that sometimes I get down on myself.
Sometimes I feel like I haven't done enough.
I could have gotten better grades, I could have done more for Club Style, I should have tried out for folk dance sooner so now I could be traveling the world, I could have gone visiting teaching more, I should have kept in better contact with close friends, I could have served more, etc. There's an endless amount to what I could've/should've.

But then I read these things:
"You are one of the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for and I'm so blessed to be a part of your life." -Ashley Kay Sant

"You are an amazing person. Club Style is my hero for introducing me to you. My life has changed so much ever since we have become friends.I know that you genuinely care. I've never had a friend offer to drop everything and come to my side when I was having a rough time and know they actually meant it and they actually would, except for you. You have no idea how much that meant to me, and still means to me, after needing a good friend to be there for me and to talk to but having only half-hearted attempts or nothing from others." -McKell. Lyn Forbes

"She’s our baby–the one we didn’t know we needed until we had her. Her golden honey eyes bewitched me from the moment I saw her, and wrapped around her pinky I have been since I very first held her tiny body.
She’s a woman now, full of brightness and laughter, sunkissed with just the right amount of sass. Yes, at times she’s a little airy, and oh, does it makes us laugh, but she’s smart and talented and completely capable. Well actually mostly capable–that is, as capable as the baby of a family can be. Equally lovely, funny, sweet, and strong, full of faith and conviction and goodness, I’m sometimes amazed at who she’s become.
And yet, I’m not.
We always knew she was special." -Krista Maurer

These are just a few of the things I could read that give me that boost to keep on going, to realize I do make a difference in this world. Just when I think no one would miss me I get a text from Leah with just a simple "I love you." I get a funny text message from Daddy while he's watching Sesame Street. I hear a Karen Carpenter song and don't hear her singing, but my Mama instead. [cause she's more amazing.]

I have so many blessings in my life: my parents, my sisters, my friends, my education, my talents, my jobs, and of course my incredible boyfriend. [we can't forget him! :]

So next time you feel like you have no worth...go read some of those text messages you've saved or those blog spots about you or those notes that you've kept in the shoebox at the top shelf of your closet. Then say a prayer thanking your Heavenly Father for putting you on this Earth and THIS time...just as you were meant to be. You'll feel better. I testify.

Leah Love.

So amidst my crazy life, I did not have time to do a bday post in celebration of my love: Miss Leah Jess Siebach!

[sorry Alex, for this post...she is my love.]

Leah turned the big 2-2 on March 18th!
There are so many wonderful things that I love about Leah.
Seriously...she saved my bacon. [even though we both hate bacon.]
She is such a great friend and I have never doubted that we will not be friends for forever.
Our friendship will stay standing through this life and the next.
But for this birthday post I would like to share some of my most favorite memories of Leah and why she is so important in my life.

The very first time I met Leah I was standing in the kitchen of my new apartment in Aug 08 [with butthead ex] and she came out of her room. She was going job hunting and had her bookbag on her back. There were EFY bracelets attached to it. We said hello and I quickly asked if she was an EFY counselor. She said yes...up in Rexberg. And at that moment I knew we would be instant friends, due to this shared love for EFY. She says she thought I was going to be a snob because i was "so pretty"...bah please. Like Leah's not gorgeous...

Another moment I knew Leah and I were meant to be was when the World Series came around in Oct 08 and she was just into the playoffs as I was. Jigga whaaat?! She loves baseball too?! Where have you been all my life? ha. But seriously...match in heaven? I say yes. Unfortunately her team is the Phillies...which is in my division...hence I am not the biggest fan of that team, but whatever. I can't have too much perfection I suppose. The Phillies were in the World Series so obviously Leah was all about them! I was going for the Rays cause let's face it...they're not in my division or league and are from Florida. We had many a party during the series. This one time we were at a house [butthead ex] and we got super decked out for this one game. I think it was game 3. I even did a special cheer for the middle of the 3rd. It was such a fun night!

Then there was the time for Valentine's Day that Leah filled that void that I had recently had with...her. She took it upon herself to become my Valentine. When I came home there was a Willow Tree figurine that looked like the two of us and a 2009 Braves calendar. It was the best!

Another great time with Leah was when we had the whole apartment to ourselves for a week because our other roommates went on spring break. We pulled our mattresses out into the living room and slept out there together all week. One night I was waiting for her and I was sitting on the mattress with my back leaning against the couch, reading. She came home an HOUR after she said she was going to be home. I was getting impatient! When she finally walked in the door I look up from my book and go, "Where have you been?! You're an hour late!" Married couple much?

That same week we went up to Idaho for her EFY interview. We woke up late! So when I finally woke up I started jumping on her bed and yelling, "First day of school! First day of school!" I don't know why, but we thought it was so funny. Hmm...

Leah is so great and always comes to support me at my various dance performances. She always cheers very loud! At my Club Style performance in April I seriously could hear her. When I got home that night from the performance there were balloons ALL over my room! I had no clue who did it. I found out she did and she had put 50 balloons in my room. And inside each balloon was a reason she loved me. It seriously made my life.

The last day I was in Provo before summer break, I spent with Leah...good person I think. We started the day by getting baseball t's and some iron on letters to put our names on the back. Leah may or may not have put a few of those letters on backwards. Hahaha. Then we went to the BYU baseball game in the glorious sunshine! Then we went home, changed, and hiked the Y! We talked about life as we sat up on the Y and looked at the valley. And what better way to eat back all those calories you burned then by going to Golden Corral?! It was such a fun day! I didn't want it to end because I knew the next day meant I was going to be separated from my best friend.

Over summer we knew things wouldn't be the same because she was going back to Idaho, but she sneakily decided to stay in Provo for this school year, but didn't tell me. It was the greatest surprise when I got back to know that she was staying in Provo! And even though life is busy and she had a boyfriend and now a fiance...it's still great just having her close by.

Leah, you really saved my life. There was NO coincidence in us being put in the same apartment. I needed you. Heavenly Father knew I needed you. My parents and sisters were far away and I needed someone to give me reason to get up in the mornings. You saw me through the most awful time of my life and your enthusiasm, charm, jokes, love, and care made me see the good in the world. You were always there when I was crying. You were always there when I felt like my heart was literally crumbling into a billion pieces. You were always there when I just needed someone to cuddle with and feel close to. You were always there when I needed someone to tell me to read my scripture or say my prayers. Not that other people didn't help out in this process, but since I lived with you, you saw me in the times when no one else could. It was those middle of the night tears or sleepless nights that only you saw. If it weren't for you I don't know what I would be like right now. Would I still be heartbroken? Would I still cry? Would I still mourn? Or would I be happy again and have the confidence I need? I don't know...but one thing I do know is that I will be forever grateful for our friendship. We have something special. There is something I have with you that I truly cherish. I'm sad you are leaving me for the summer, but I'm excited to party with you in the south! :] I love you more than you could possibly know. Hope your birthday was great this year! I've loved spending the last 2 with you! You're amazing, beautiful, talented, and I hope we always keep our friendship the way that it is.

L...is for the way you look at me...

I'm in love.
I don't care anymore.
I will shout it for the whole world to hear.
I love a boy.
His name is Alex Foster and I think he is pretty darn great.
I've been in love with him since the beginning of February, but didn't quite know how to handle it.
I didn't wanna tell a lot of people because I just didn't know how to put all my feelings in order.
I think I was embarrassed because I should know.
I've been in love before.
I know what it feels like.
But this is SO much different than Dan.
We have THE most important thing in common, which is a love for the gospel.
Something I never fully shared with Dan.
Yeah you can have the same love for a sport or team. Yeah you can have the same taste in music. Yeah you can enjoy the same types of food or TV shows. And yeah...you can even think that person is most attractive person in the entire world.
However...none of that compares to being able to connect on a spiritual level.
Sharing the gospel is a way to tie all of that "superficial" stuff together and then add in the real stuff.
Like...how we feel about being children of God. Or the kind of family we want. Or how no matter how much we love each other, our love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will still outweigh it.
That's the real stuff.
Alex could tell me he hates the Braves, hates dancing, hates Hilton Head Island, and hates BYU. And even though that would totally suck [so please don't say that, Alex dear.] it still wouldn't matter because he tells me when he goes to the temple. He tells me when he's going to church. He tells me when he had a good Book of Mormon class. He has the Priesthood. He went on a mission. He knows what's most important in life.
And all of that means far more.

On a more romantic note...
He's sweet.
He's so dang sweet.
He will do pretty much anything I ask of him.
I feel like I already take advantage of that.
But at the same time I don't feel bad when he does stuff for me because I know he wants to do it. Not out of obligation or that's "just what you're supposed to do" but I know he does because he loves me and likes doing things for me.
Like how he'll go out to the car in freezing temperature cause I left something out there, but he knows I'll get cold.
Or how even though my hands get seriously so cold he'll still let me put them on his neck to get them warm.
Or how he'll hold my totally girly purse in a public place when I need to do something.
Or how he opens doors for me.
Or how he will drive down for not even 24 hours to surprise visit me.
Or how he'll always offer his hand or arm when we're walking places...no matter if it's 5 steps or a 20 min walk.
Or how he'll always tell me I'm beautiful...even after a long day.
Or how he'll compliment my outfits because he knows how much fashion means to me and that I put thought into an outfit.
Or how I'll catch him looking at me...just because. He just likes to look at me. [in a non creepy way. haha.]
Or how I just know in his eyes that he thinks I'm the most amazing, most talented, most beautiful, most caring girl in the whole world.

But really, let's face it...he saved me.
Whether people knew it or not, I was hurt for a long time.
What Dan did to me killed me to the bone.
I think it killed me so much because I am so loyal.
I'm as loyal as a freakin dog.
Once you're friends with me, it is dang hard for me to not love and care about you anymore.
And I just couldn't believe that Dan did what he did.
You don't do that to people you "love."
I was in total despair for a long time.
I thought I would never be able to love again.
Even when I had convinced myself I was ok...I wasn't.
I was not ok.
I was still crying myself to sleep a year after the fact...and some.
But amidst all that struggle, Alex brought a new light to my life.
And no matter how hard I tried to deny it, shy away from it, and flat out push it away...there was a power higher than me that knew I needed him whether I wanted to accept the idea at first or not.
And I'm so grateful I was pushed.
Heavenly Father knew I needed Alex and that he needed me too.
I'm so grateful that the Father has a plan for me and that no amount of stress, worry, and pain will get in the way of ultimate happiness.
Alex has made that happiness come back in to my life.
Sure I had my amazing family and incredible friends, who I thank more than anything because without them I wouldn't have gotten through! [you know who you are.]
But there was still something missing.
Which is obvious.
We're sent here to learn and grow and be happy.
But we're not supposed to do it alone...we need a companion.
So Alex has become that.
He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes my faith stronger. He makes me realize how great life is.

So there ya have it people.
Y'all wanted to know what's going on...and this is it.
I'm in love.
I feel like Buddy the Elf when he falls in love with Jovie and then he yells: "I'm in LOVE, I'm in LOVE and I don't care who knows it!"

So Mr. Alex Foster...I know you're going to read this.
This is for you...I think you're great and I love you.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I'M 23!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!!
When did that happen?!
I have no idea! Oh well...just gotta embrace it.
My legs are freshly shaved [you gotta have smooth legs for your birthday!] and I'm ready to have a great day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!